The Way You Look Tonight
by CUtopia
Summary: Mafia!AU - With the prohibition at its peak, the families in Manhattan compete fiercly to make the most profit. There certainly is no place for attraction lingering underneath the surface, but then, when has love ever been rational? - Barson.
1. Chapter 1

A big Thank You to the wonderful barsonaddict, who helped me to get the ideas rolling again when I was stuck!

Also, my awesome friend Rose betaed this for me! :)

I hope you guys enjoy this, I'm looking forward to your feedback!

* * *

 **The Way You Look Tonight**

The full moon was standing high on the night sky, it's pale light glittering on the water of the Hudson River and illuminating the warehouses close to the docks. It was a clear night and so it wasn't really dark, but Rafael Barba wasn't worried at all about that. Even though he normally preferred the darkness to conceal him and his men, he was relaxed – he'd paid the security men of the government warehouse enough to look the other way for the whole night if he needed them to.

Leaning against a wooden crate in a casual manner, hat pulled low over his face and coat nearly hanging off his shoulders to reveal his suspenders, he turned the page of the small book he was reading, smiling to himself. This was going well, and he would make a lot of money with the alcohol his men were currently carrying out of the warehouse and loading onto their truck.

"Barba? This was the last one."

With a self-satisfied grin, he closed his book and slipped it into the pocket of his coat, pulling the keys to the warehouse doors out in the same move.

"Perfect. Then let's lock up and leave. Nice work, gentlemen."

Letting the keyring swing on his index finger, he pushed himself away from the crates and walked over to the doors as two men pulled them shut. How he loved it when everything worked out smoothly...

Behind him, he could already hear the engine of the truck come to life with a loud roar – Carisi, a new member of his gang, seemed to be overly eager to get the work done. It was the first time Rafael had allowed him along, and he was already annoyed by the boy. He was feeling tempted to kick him out again, but then he'd promised an old friend to give the man something to do.

However, when the wheels suddenly screeched, he knew that something was not going to plan. Whipping around, he saw with wide eyes how the truck with his alcohol was driving off; next to the deep tracks it had left behind he could spot a Carisi-shaped figure lying motionless on the ground. For a short moment, he felt like somebody had punched him in the face and he guessed that he must have paled, but then, anger rushed over him. He knew exactly who was responsible for this, and he didn't even have to look at the shape of the person in the driver's seat to realise that.

"¡Puta mierda! What am I paying you idiots for?!" he snapped, glaring at his men who had mostly gathered around Carisi by now, trying to help the disorientated boy to his feet while he mumbled something about a sexy brunette he'd thought to be harmless.

How much he hated it when things weren't going according to his plan.

OoO

The excitement of the little triumph was still fresh inside of her as Olivia unlocked the door to her mother's place, carrying a bag with groceries. Even though she'd done it several times before, it was just purely amusing to let Barba do all the schlepp for her and go home with the fruits of his work.

After taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and entered, the sickening smell of alcohol, sweat and something that was probably mould from forgotten food hitting her. It was a smell she grew up with, but since she'd left her mother's home with sixteen, she'd become aware of it again, and even after all these years, she found it hard to control her stomach.

Her mother was sitting on the couch, shoulders hanging while she clung to a bottle of cheap whiskey, hair greasy and eyes glassy as she lifted her head and looked at her daughter. It seemed like her intoxicated mind needed a moment to process Olivia's presence, then her expression suddenly hardened.

"Where the hell have you been, Olivia?!" she yelled, staggering heavily as she stood up, the bottle nearly slipping from between her fingers. "Were you with Antonio again?! I told you that I don't want to see you near him, I don't want you to get drawn into my cousin's business!"

Her voice was slurring more and more with every word, and Olivia felt guilt rush through her – sometimes, her mother forgot that her daughter had already joined the mafia, sponsored by her mother's cousin. It had been the only way to keep herself from starving without selling herself to one of the countless factories in the city; she'd been forced to take care of herself since she was a little girl. And now she was coordinating all kinds of dark business for the Lucarnos, passively providing her mother with the alcohol that had taken her childhood so early.

"Coming home late, associating with criminals... you're a disgrace! You disgust me!"

Suddenly, a bottle was flying her way, and Olivia ducked away just in time; the bottle narrowly missed her head and shattered at the wall behind her, the amber liquid dampening the tapestry and leaving a large stain. Tiny little bits of broken glass rained down at Olivia's head and she closed her eyes for the fraction of a second, trying to calm herself down. Moving quickly, she made her way towards the tiny kitchen in the back of the small apartment; she heard how her mother kept yelling insults while the noise indicated that she was searching for a fresh bottle of liquor, and even though she'd learned to live with it, she had to blink a few tears away.

Her hands were shaking slightly as she placed the bag of groceries on the narrow counter, and upon thinking that she didn't want to stay longer than she had to today, she made quick work of pulling a small loaf of fresh bread and a few cans out of the bag. While she stored them away, the noise in the background slowly died down, but Olivia didn't allow herself to relax – when she was drunk, her mother was unpredictable and outright vicious, and she'd made the mistake of letting her guard down once and never again.

After her usual check that there weren't many things her mother could accidentally injure herself with, she grabbed a broom and returned to the living room. Relief washed the tension in her body away as she spotted her mother lying on the couch, hugging an unopened bottle of alcohol while snoring loudly. However, even though her mother was passed out and looked quite peacefully, Olivia didn't feel comfortable to stay, causing her to quickly clean the glass from the floor and throwing it into the trash.

Before leaving, she gently placed a blanket over her mother's sleeping form and pressed a tentative kiss on her cheek after whispering: "I have to go now, but I'll be back soon."

OoO

Rafael slammed the door of his flat shut with so much force that the mirror at the wall vibrated dangerously, but he didn't care. He was frustrated and angry, mostly with himself, because seriously, he should have seen it coming. Competition was fierce since the prohibition had started, one could gain good money with alcohol on the black market, and everyone in New York wanted to have a piece of the cake, the families standing in the front row. And Olivia, she seemed to have her fun while getting into his way.

A curse left his lips as he walked into the living room, lit two lamps and grabbed the bottle of scotch standing on one of the polished cabinets. Pouring himself a glass and immediately knocking it back in two gulps, her chocolate brown eyes crossed through his mind and the way they gleamed when she laughed, showing him again and again that it was unwise to underestimate her. He'd made that mistake once and had learned from it.

"Heard someone knocked your driver out and none of your men noticed."

Rafael jumped in shock and whipped around, the scotch glass nearly slipping from his grip. His green eyes were wide as he stared at his mother Lucia, who was casually leaning against the doorframe, a smirk on her face.

"Mother, how the hell did you get in here?" he asked with a pressed voice as soon as he'd recovered from the unwelcomed surprise and calmed his heartbeat down a little bit.

Lucia sighed dramatically as she took her hat off, carelessly throwing it onto one of the armchairs standing nearby, then her fingers fished a lipstick from her purse. "I have to tell you, that wasn't particularly easy. For some reason, my key didn't fit into your lock anymore."

"Maybe that's because I exchanged the lock last week," Rafael stated dryly, glaring at his mother before briefly turning away to pour himself another glass of scotch. "You know how I hate it when you're coming to my place unannounced, Mamí."

Opening the cap of her lipstick, Lucia rolled her eyes. "What the hell do _you_ need privacy for, son? You never have any visitor, let alone a love life, so I don't see why you're reacting so extremely."

"I would still prefer it if you would knock instead of picking my lock." Rafael ran a hand through his dark hair, not bothering to conceal his disapproval while Lucia applied her lipstick, looking at her reflection in the small mirror by the door, her free hand making a dismissive gesture towards him.

"I just wanted to see if I could still do it. Don't forget who taught you, mijo. Now stop being rude to your own mother and tell me what happened."

This was her way of telling him that she would break into his home whenever she pleased to, and if he wanted or not, he had to accept that. His mother certainly wasn't an ordinary woman, and he'd learnt that there was no use arguing with her about her sometimes rather eccentric behaviour.

Rafael shrugged, his frustration from earlier returning slowly while he sipped his scotch and moved to look out of the window, observing the dimly lit street below for a good minute before he answered: "I really don't know how that happened. One moment we were loading the alcohol on our truck, then suddenly it drove off and we saw Carisi lying next to it, knocked out. Never should have allowed this guy into my gang. And well, I can imagine Olivia from the Lucarno family is still laughing about my face right now, I probably looked pretty stupid."

His expression darkened slightly and he emptied his scotch, placing the glass next to the bottle with a loud thud. Lucia had meanwhile shrugged her coat off and was now sitting on the couch, the corners of her mouth twitching into a smug smirk as he mentioned Olivia. Leaning back, she studied her son intently, the smirk widening while he didn't seem to notice that she was watching him so closely – his mind was occupied with something else.

"It's the third time in less than two weeks that she interfered with my plans, and I swear, Mamí, she's doing this on purpose! I mean, there are enough other warehouses that she could have went to today, and by a strange coincidence she had to take the one where I tried to land my coup – again!"

His gestures were becoming sharper as he started to pace through the living room, seemingly forgetting about his surroundings as his rant started to gain momentum.

"This woman is driving me crazy, mother, and she seems to love it! I swear, next time I will..."

"Yes?" Lucia interrupted him with a knowing tone, her smirk by now having become cheeky, and she cocked an eyebrow. Rafael stopped his monologue, slightly confused as he seemed to return to reality, giving her the time to stand up and walk over to him.

"I know why you are always so flustered when she comes for you. She's driving you crazy in a good way, and you're fascinated by her." A slightly triumphant gleam crossed her dark eyes as she spotted the blush tinting Rafael's cheek red before he masked this reaction with a glare and a disbelieving laugh.

"Do you have oxygen on your planet, mother? I'm certainly _not_ fascinated by her, she's getting in my way all the time and I lost a lot of money today because of her, so..."

He continued to complain and brush Lucia's assumption – which she knew to be correct – off with thin arguments, causing her to stop listening to his rambling. Evidence was on her side, and no matter how deep he was in denial, she knew what was truly going on inside of him.

OoO

Olivia's hands were shaking as she wiped a tear from her cheek while climbing up the stairs to her little flat a few blocks away from her mother's place. She somehow wished the excitement and the adrenaline from earlier would return; when she'd sat in the truck imagining Rafael's flabbergasted expression, she'd felt like there were no worries in the world. But her own laughter always seemed to become a moment in the past she longed to go back to when she visited her mother.

There was so much darkness her mother emitted, the demons of the past haunting her still, and she always seemed to pull Olivia down with her. It took her all her willpower to tell herself that her mother was drunk and didn't mean it when she threw insults at her because she once again couldn't take it to see the reminder of her rape: her daughter, standing in front of her.

Not bothering to light a candle, Olivia entered her flat and locked the door behind her before making her way to her bedroom, hastily dressing in her nightgown and slipping under the covers. For a long moment, she stared up at the ceiling, then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get rid of the dark cloud that seemed to have sneaked its way back into her mind. Slowly, the turmoil inside of her was dying down and her thoughts started to wander...

-.-.-

 _A heat wave was hanging over Manhattan and whoever could afford it stayed inside their cool house, keeping the windows closed to keep the heat out. The constant warmth was affecting everyone's mood heavily, and as Olivia and a few of her friends walked through the back alley, there was no way she could ignore the tension that was hanging in the air. She'd already heard from her mother's cousin that there'd been quite a few incidents during which members of rivaling families had butted their heads already because everyone was on the edge from the weather. Therefore, she had a bad feeling as she spotted another group of young people coming towards them from the other side of the alley._

" _What do we got here? Lucarno's rabble," one of the young men exclaimed as the two groups came to stop in front of each other, hard expressions and glares making it clear that nobody was on friendly terms here. Olivia crossed her arms in front of her chest and forced herself to straighten her back to appear more confident._

" _And they're babysitting. What do you want with that doll, huh?"_

 _She immediately recognised the voice, knew that it was him before he pushed past one of the taller guys. Green eyes gleamed cheekily, matching the cocky smirk he wore as he looked her directly into the eyes, and she briefly remarked to herself how his appearance was finally matching that big brass ego. He'd grown, even being a fraction taller than her; his shoulders were broader and a little bit of stubble was visible on his jawline._

 _Gone was the small boy that always seemed to have a trace of fear in his eyes when he thought nobody was watching, who tried so hard to conceal his tremble when Barba senior had called. She'd seen that countless times and though she knew that it wasn't her business, she'd asked herself what happened to him at home._

 _And Olivia wondered how she hadn't noticed this change until now._

" _Hey, leave her out of this. You don't want Antonio to hear this, he's her sponsor." The voice of one of her companions ripped her from her thoughts, and seconds later, the group opposite to her broke out in laughter._

" _She's a woman, you aren't seriously trying to tell me that they're going to introduce her to the family. Don't make a fool out of yourself, Marcotte!" Barba roared, wiping a non-existent tear of laughter out of the corner of his eye while Olivia's jaw stiffened; her hands curled into fists and she felt the desire to punch him. He didn't know her, had no idea why she was doing this and that she wished she had another choice, and it was making her angry that he was unknowingly making fun of her struggle to keep herself and her mother alive._

" _Oh come on, Barba, you wouldn't last a minute against me," she hissed before she knew it, her tone challenging, and he cocked an eyebrow, his expression saying 'try me'._

" _What do you suggest, Olivia?" he asked while his smirk widened, her first name coming over his lips rather softly, though not tainting the challenge of his question at all._

" _Arm wrestling."_

 _Olivia ignored how everyone behind her was starting to shift nervously upon her confident suggestion; though everybody was feeling edgy, she knew that none of them were really searching for confrontation, and they were aware that one false action could cause a situation to get out of control under these circumstances._

 _It was ridiculously obvious to her that Rafael was unable to refuse; he was too cocky for his own good sometimes._

" _Really? Well, if you can deal with the defeat, mi amor," he said mockingly, gesturing towards a wooden barrel by the wall; a few battered chairs were standing next to it, and Olivia briefly remembered that a few older men of the building played chess there._

" _It's okay, I won't be too harsh with you." She grinned at him while moving over, mirroring his action of dragging a chair to the barrel and sitting down. "You ready?"_

 _She stretched her arm out, supporting her elbow on the wood and felt her heart jump as his hand gripped hers; his skin was soft and he didn't seem to know how tight his grip should be. Their gazes locked and she couldn't deny that there was something hanging in the air between them, some sort of electricity that seemed to intensify with every moment that passed._

" _If you two need this so desperately, fine," one of Olivia's companions said, gritting his teeth. "Free hand behind your back."_

 _Creases of concentration appeared on Rafael's forehead as his gaze wandered down to their joined hands, and his face turned red moments after the signal to start was given. Olivia flexed her muscles, pressing against him with every bit of strength and willpower she could muster, and the way his face contorted in effort told her that he had difficulty matching her. She ignored the loud cheers of the people standing around them in a circle and flashed a grin at Rafael as she suddenly pressed harder and the back of his hand hit the wood with a loud thud._

 _Everyone around them started to cheer or groaned in defeat and she couldn't keep herself from smirking triumphantly, patting his hand. "It was a pleasure, Rafael."_

 _His green eyes were showing off his pure surprise about what had just happened as he stared at her while she stood up, letting her fingertips brush against his shoulder playfully as she walked past him, whispering: "Maybe I'll grant you revenge one day."_

OoO

Rafael seriously considered it a wonder that he'd been able to convince his mother to leave by claiming that he would go to bed early instead of planning his next heist. And yes, he normally would have worked all night, fueled by his anger and frustration, but somehow he was just tired, and she seemed to have sensed that. He just wanted this day to end, and he sighed heavily as he finally fell into his bed, turning onto his side and staring out of the window for a while before he started to drift off into a light slumber...

-.-.-

 _He was sitting on the fire escape in front of his room, wiping the sweat off his forehead; the summer heat was still hanging between the buildings, even though the sun was already standing low above the horizon, dipping the brickwall behind him in a golden light. A notebook was lying on his knees and he tried to capture the scene in front of him on the paper, the pen in his hand working quickly and with confidence._

 _However, as his gaze lifted from the paper the next time, he froze and a tingle ran down his spine. On the street below he could see a familiar face, and he forgot everything around him in that very moment. Her curly brown hair was open, flowing over her shoulders and gleaming in the light of the setting sun, just like her skin; her light summer dress was moving in the gentle breeze as she walked, and he was convinced that it was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. She was moving elegantly but determined, knowing exactly where she was heading and he couldn't help but admire the confidence that was radiating off her._

 _His heart jumped as her gaze wandered upwards and met his briefly, the corner of her deep red lips twitching into a soft, lovely crooked smile... It had only been for a moment, but Rafael felt like it was a wonderful eternity before she walked around the corner, vanishing as quickly from his field of vision as she'd entered it._

 _Taking a deep breath, Rafael shook his head, but he couldn't seem to get rid of the shaky feeling, of the sensation of knees that would surely give in if he tried to stand up in that moment. As he flipped to a blank page of his notebook, he nearly ripped one of them out and his elbow almost pushed the little can with his pens off the stairs... But surprisingly, his hand was steadier than ever before as it guided his pen over the paper, recreating the smile that had burned itself into his memory within the blink of an eye._

OoO

She couldn't deny that she'd picked out this day and this location completely on purpose. One of her informants had told her when and where Rafael Barba would try to steal from the government warehouses again, and sabotaging him was just too much fun to not use this opportunity. There weren't many times she could actually connect work and amusement – and tricking Barba certainly was amusing to her, especially as she always seemed to find a way to do so, no matter how many precautions he'd taken.

It wasn't like he wasn't smart – he was one of the best for heists for a reason – but it seemed like he intentionally left weaknesses in his plans so she could get into his way. And what kind of a lady would she be if she turned down a very promising invitation?

But this time, it didn't go as smoothly as last time – she didn't know how, but somehow her and the men she'd taken with her to assist ended up standing in the warehouse, being on the receiving end of one of Rafael Barba's most infuriated glares. She certainly hadn't planned this, but then it was also nice to see how his cheeks turned red and his Cuban temper threatened to break out of him. He really wasn't her type – a phrase she'd told herself often, but still didn't quite believe – but he was quite attractive when his green eyes were gleaming intensely.

"Are you serious?" Rafael hissed in a hushed tone as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared back at him, holding his gaze with the intent of not backing down. "Aren't there any other people you can annoy?"

Olivia couldn't help but chuckle about this, and she seriously didn't know where the flirty undertone in her voice came from as she replied: "Oh come on, Barba, I know how much you love it when I do this."

Suddenly, the panicked voice of one of Olivia's men broke the tension that had been hanging in the air, causing everyone in the room to whip around in surprise, Olivia's heart skipping a beat. "The coppers are coming!"

For a short moment, everyone stared at eachother in shock, then, they seemed to get infected by the panic their lookout had already been feeling.

"Run!" Olivia hissed and she didn't need to tell them twice; everyone dashed away into different directions, some of the men grabbing some bottles of booze while they ran. She didn't look back as she headed straight for one of the many backdoors of the warehouse, hearing screams from behind her that indicated that the men trying to flee that way were running straight into the arms of the officers.

As she outrightly collided with the door and pushed it open, another pair of hands hit the metal next to hers and as she briefly looked to the side she realised that Rafael had chosen the same path as her. He was right behind her as they stumbled down the narrow metal stairs, blinded by the sudden change of lighting conditions, but still Olivia spotted the two silhouettes moving towards them from the front of the warehouse. Skidding to an abrupt halt, she grabbed Rafael's wrist and dragged him with her as she changed directions, a curse falling from her lips.

The officers behind them yelled, but a brief look over her shoulder as they squeezed through the hole in the fence she'd used to enter the property earlier told her that Rafael and her had a good headstart. And even though this was a dangerous situation for them, she couldn't help but relish in the feeling of her heart pounding against her ribs and the adrenaline rushing through her veins.

Laughter bubbled out of her as they raced down a street; people jumped out of their way, complaining loudly, but she didn't care. It might sound crazy, but she felt alive.

Deciding it was time to change direction again, she pulled Rafael with her into an alley; he was panting harshly next to her and she was rather sure that he didn't share her excitement about the little chase. At least he didn't seem so enthusiastic as she pushed him into a niche halfway down the alley, convinced that they'd managed to outrun the police officers. Her body collided with his as she squeezed herself into the niche with him and even though her muscles were aching and her lung seemed to be on fire, she giggled breathlessly, causing him to give her an irritated glance.

 _To Be Continued..._

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A/N - my writing music: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them OST: Newt Says Goodbye To Tina/Jacob's Bakery helped me a lot to imagine the scene where Rafael sits on the fire escape and spots Olivia. Also, 1920s jazz gave it a nice atmosphere, so I definitely recommend reading it again with the music in the background :D


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks a lot for all these nice reviews, guys :)

I'm sorry it took me a little bit longer to finish this chapter, I didn't have the muse! I hope you enjoy this chapter – it turned out a bit longer than intended, guess it makes up for the long wait ;)

A big thank you to the amazing barsonaddict, who once again helped me to brainstorm for some scenes!

And I also need to thank Dina, who betaed this for me!

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Rafael felt like his lungs were on fire and his legs were so wobbly from the long run that he was glad the niche Olivia and him were in was so narrow he was sandwiched between the brick wall and her body.

Her body. He became more aware of it with every second that passed. She was pressed against him, her chest heaving against his, and he swore that his racing heart was still picking up speed. It seemed like the world outside the niche vanished, the screams of the officers running by and not finding them being reduced to muffled sounds while his gaze wandered over the woman opposite to him.

Every nerve end of his seemed to be hyper-sensitive, like all of his senses; her body heat was seeping through their clothes and made him feel even warmer. Her pants were still harsh, but he could detect the faintest of chuckles between the puffs of air she released. Next he noticed her scent, and he felt like it was positively intoxicating – sweat mingled with fresh coffee, something flowery and the faintest trace of chocolate.

Their gazes met and the corners of her dark red lips curled into a crooked smirk; her cheeks were flushed from the exhaustion and her brown curls were slightly tousled from the wind, but Rafael caught himself thinking that it only made her look more beautiful. She reached up to run her hand through her hair and on the way up her arm brushed against his side, causing a tingle to shoot down his spine.

Rafael had no idea of how long they'd stood there, trying to catch their breaths without making any noise and waiting until the coast was clear for them to come out of their hiding place. However, he couldn't deny that a part of him thoroughly enjoyed the sensation of Olivia Benson's proximity – while another part of him hated that she'd just basically saved his arse from the coppers. After trying to rain on his parade. Again.

"I think they've moved on," Olivia whispered eventually, and Rafael had to control himself so he wouldn't suck in a breath as she moved against him to be able to peer around the corner – her action woke fantasies he normally didn't surrender to in public. "Well, that was a close call, wasn't it?"

"Certainly," he replied, investing a lot of strength into controlling his voice so it sounded calm. A little bit of disappointment rose inside of him as she slipped out of their niche and leant back against the brick wall. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Rafael looked at her with something that he hoped was a stern expression. "How much of a coincidence is it that you're always ruining _my_ operations, Benson?"

Olivia chuckled lightly about his question and wiped the sweat off her forehead before answering curtly: "Talk about coincidences."

She could tell that he was completely puzzled by her words, so she made a general gesture at the alley – it was the same one in which they'd arm wrestled many years ago. The corners of his mouth twitched and they smirked at each other for a long moment. Then, she suddenly pushed herself away from the wall and closed the distance between them, her brown eyes sparkling in amusement as she leaned forward. A shiver ran down his spine as her warm breath brushed over his skin as she whispered: "Well... if you want me to be honest, I don't believe in coincidences. Do you?"

Her fingers briefly touched his forearm before she turned on her heel and walked down the alley, her hips swaying slightly, as if she knew that he was staring after her like in trance. His mouth was feeling dry and he nervously licked his lips, asking himself if the last minutes had been real at all. Only as she vanished around the corner he was able to move again, slowly making his way home while trying not to bump into too many people – his mind was still spinning around Olivia Benson, her words and her smile.

OoO

Rafael learned the next day that two of his men had been arrested, but as no copper had yet showed up at his home he could be sure that none of them had sung – they knew that they wouldn't live to see another sunrise if they sold out one of the best associates to the family. While that was certainly good for Rafael, their arrests proved to be a problem, as they'd been supposed to scout the next warehouse they wanted to break into. If he wanted to or not, he had to do it himself, but his annoyance disappeared soon when he made his way to the location – the work promised to take his mind off a certain lady whose smile had dominated his dreams the previous night.

The sun was shining brightly, standing high on the blue sky as he arrived at his destination, and it was so warm that he took his suit jacket off and draped it over his arm. Casually strolling down the road, he acted as if he was taking a walk to enjoy the nice weather in case anybody was watching, but in reality his eyes were scanning the warehouse and taking in every detail he could spot.

Just as he wanted to lean find a good spot to take a closer look at the watch system of the men guarding the warehouse, he spotted something from the corner of his eye.

A woman was sitting on a bench on the other side of the street, wearing a light blue summer dress and a rather huge sun hat that threw a shadow over her face, but still he knew immediately who it was – he would have recognised those legs anywhere. Acting on instinct, he turned his back to the warehouse and crossed the street, feeling her gaze on him as he moved towards her and ultimately sat down next to her. She was holding a newspaper, but he knew that she wasn't really reading it – it was one of the oldest tricks in the world. But, well, it still worked.

"This time I was here first," she said after a long moment of silence, and he could hear the smirk in her voice before she turned her head to look at him and he actually saw it. "Were you following me?"

"No," Rafael replied instantly, a little bit confused, then he put on a cool expression. "Why should I follow you? I got my own business to take care of, I don't have time for such nonsense."

Olivia shrugged, her lips still curled into a smirk that made her brown eyes gleam. "I wouldn't be mad if you were following me, Barba."

He tried to mask his surprise about her statement, but his expression ultimately got out of control when she leaned over, her shoulder bumping into his – a shiver ran down his spine, her proximity waking memories of the previous day. A mere second later, her breath brushed over the skin of his neck and she whispered into his ear in a sweet tone: "They all want to know the secret of my success."

Clearing his throat slowly, he turned his head so their gazes met again, and his heart was beating faster. He hated how she always seemed to be able to tamper with his confidence, causing him to either be too reckless or completely speechless in front of her.

Right now, it was the latter, the option that usually was less likely, as he had himself under control most of the time, but still she sometimes managed to dumbfound him. There weren't many women he knew that had such a sharp tongue, were so daring and witty and weren't afraid of showing it all, even though they knew it could get them into trouble. She was strong and independent, and though he would never admit it, it greatly impressed him.

Her voice ripped him from his thoughts, and he could tell from her smile that she had caught him pondering. A shiver ran down his spine again as she brushed her fingers against his knee and repeated her move from earlier, her voice teasing and her lips nearly touching his earlobe when she purred: "I will make it easy for you this time, Rafael. I don't need the success, I've already made enough this month. But I heard that the Coppolas are planning to be a lot harsher with associates who don't make their cut."

"You would miss me if they got rid of me, huh?" Rafael shot back, having found his voice again – he would only let her tease him so much. He returned her smirk and relished in spotting the faintest of blushes on her cheeks.

However, her voice sounded steady and unbothered when she suddenly scooted away from him and said: "Well, I wouldn't _miss_ you, Barba, but it would definitely be a lot more boring without you, don't you think?"

Shooting him a brilliant smile, she elegantly stood up, folding her newspaper before slipping it into her bag. And for the second time in less than 24 hours, Rafael watched her walk away from him, the sun gleaming around her body and it looked like she was some otherworldly being disappearing into the light.

After she'd vanished, he released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and leaned back on the bench, shaking his head to get rid of the various kinds of thoughts that were racing through his head.

There was something that he'd always felt about her, since the day they'd first met. He couldn't put his finger on it, no matter how much he tried, and he also often failed to deny to himself that whatever it was, it was getting stronger with every day.

OoO

 _It was rather unusual for Barba Sr to take his son on a walk, and Rafael didn't feel really good when he walked down the street next to his father. For the boy, it just felt wrong how nicely his father behaved outside their flat in comparison to the way he usually treated his son, and he knew that this false peace wouldn't last long._

" _Rafael, get your head out of the clouds," Barba senior said sharply, and out of reflex, Rafael twitched and stumbled a little bit to the side, as if he tried to get out of his father's reach. "There are some important matters I have to talk about with you."_

" _Oh," Rafael made, not daring to say more – his father usually preferred it when he kept his mouth shut and senior could pretend that he didn't exist. To Rafael, it was the most peace he could get; being ignored was a lot better than being beaten up._

" _As you're starting to make friends in school, I decided that it is time for you to learn that there are some kinds of people that you shouldn't associate with."_

 _Rafael had to mask his confusion, knowing that his father didn't like to be interrupted by what he called silly questions. Barba senior didn't say anything for a long moment, during which they crossed the street and walked into the small park on the other side. Children were playing ball on the meadow nearby and Rafael looked over to them with longing inside of him. They'd only moved into this part of the town a few weeks ago, and he'd barely had the opportunity to get to know the other kids that were living in the area._

 _A girl about his age was standing at the edge of the meadow with another girl, looking disgruntled – she seemed to have been told that she couldn't play with the others. Her brown hair was in a messy braid, her clothes looked a little bit dirty and worn, but her brown eyes shone with intelligence as they met his across the meadow. The corners of her lips lifted in a shy smile, then the girl next to her whispered something into her ear and her face fell before she looked away._

" _Boy, pay attention!" Barba senior growled and seemed to forget that they were in public for a moment, grabbing Rafael by the harm so tight that it hurt._

" _Yes, Sir," Rafael mumbled, looking down at his shoes and he trembled slightly as his father let go of him._

" _Those children over there, you should stay away from them. Especially that Benson girl. They are all connected to the Lucarno family, and what did I tell you about them?"_

 _A stern glare was directed at him and Rafael hurried to answer: "That they are our enemies."_

 _Barba senior nodded, looking around before explaining: "Yes. We are loyal to the Coppola family, and you know how lucky we are to be their associates. One day you will take over my business and work for them, and it would ruin your and especially_ my _reputation should you ever be seen near them. You must chose your friends wisely, Rafael."_

 _Rafael let his gaze wander over to the girl again, not quite understanding why it would be wrong to talk with her – she looked like a normal child, after all – but he also knew that it was easier for him not to question the things his father said or told him to do. Keeping his head low, he followed his father down the path that led along the meadow. "I understand, Sir."_

OoO

Olivia smiled to herself as she walked down the street, knowing that Rafael Barba's gaze was on her, and that knowledge warmed her more than the sunlight. One hand subconsciously moved upwards and her fingers played with her chestnut hair, her heart performing a small leap in her chest. Something about teasing Rafael Barba and catching this usually very confident man by surprise excited her, and the fact that they weren't supposed to have any close contact at all just made her want to do this more. The attraction of the forbidden had a strong pull, and she just couldn't resist, especially when a confused glance or a playful smirk from one handsome Rafael Barba was the reward.

Olivia Benson knew exactly that she was playing with fire, and it was dangerous that she sometimes forgot that they were from rivaling families. The animosity between the Lucarnos and the Coppolas had always been strong, but with the Prohibition promising riches and power, it had definitely gotten worse. But it also meant that Barba and her had more opportunities to come across each other, and she just couldn't keep herself from having her fun with him.

OoO

A few days later, Olivia was on her way to meet one of her black market contacts to prepare a deal about a cartload of alcohol she'd 'organised' the previous night. She had been too busy to think about raining on Barba's parade as she had to compensate the loss of money from the night they were nearly caught by the police – thus she was more than surprised to see him when she entered the bar owned by her contact. The smirk he sent her way while his long fingers ran along the edge of his scotch glass wiped her mind blank for a moment, then she straightened her back and strode towards him confidently.

"Hello, Benson," he greeted her with a smirk before lifting the glass to his lips and taking a sip. "Surprised to see me?"

She leaned against the wooden bar next to him, cocking an eyebrow. "I have to admit I am, but just a little bit. Never thought you were suicidal."

The bar was known to be a place the men of the Lucarno family traded at or sealed all kinds of deals, and it wasn't the wisest thing for a known associate of the Coppola family to hang around there. At this time of day, the bar was relatively empty, only a few shady figures lingering in the booths in the back, ignoring Barba's presence for their own good. However, there was no way for him to know when a Lucarno could enter, and they probably wouldn't ask before shooting him.

"I knew you would be worried about me," Rafael replied, grinning and setting his glass down on the counter. Patting the bar stool next to his with his hand, he added: "Sit. Drink. Smile."

"Seriously?" Olivia asked, barely able to hide that she was indeed worried – it could end badly for both of them. She wasn't ashamed of showing her fear to him, but his smile didn't falter much.

"Yes, seriously. Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

For a moment, she was tempted to follow his invitation and sit down next to him, but then she realised that it would be foolish. This was a situation she couldn't control, unlike the usual situations during which they met, and she wasn't ready to take this risk, even though a part of her really wanted to spend some time with him.

"No," she answered boldly, forcing herself to appear completely disinterested in his offer, and his eyes widened in disbelief. "I have some important business to take care of."

"Wow," he mumbled, giving her a mock hurt expression in an attempt to cover up his disappointment, but of course she'd already spotted it. "You really don't know what you're missing here, Benson. I'm a great drinking buddy."

Olivia smirked before moving around the bar, opening the secret trap door leading to the second cellar of the bar. "My loss, I guess," she said with a shrug, holding his gaze for a moment. "Don't be too sad, Barba, I'm sure we'll see each other again sooner or later."

And while she climbed down the steep stair, she was convinced that she could hear him mumble: "Hopefully sooner, Olivia."

OoO

The fact that he'd obviously tracked her down – having done what she usually did with him – didn't leave her alone all day and she barely slept that night, asking herself what would have happened had she agreed on having a drink with him, even though she knew that it didn't make any sense. It was the past now and regretting was in vain, but she still found it hard to convince herself that it had been the right decision.

Olivia didn't know why, but the desire to spend time with Barba was getting stronger with every time they came across each other, and so she wasn't really surprised when she felt content upon spotting him at her usual news stand the next morning. A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she took the New York Times and scanned the front page without really reading it. From the corner of her eye she watched how Barba turned around to pay for the newspaper when he saw her, his face lighting up causing her heart to skip a beat.

She briefly lifted her head to smirk at him playfully, then she acted as if the headline was highly interesting. Before she knew it, he was slowly brushing past her, and a shiver of excitement ran down her spine as he whispered into her ear: "After you turned me down for a drink, how about we have a coffee?"

His question honestly surprised her, but she didn't hesitate to follow him down the street with a gap of a minute after paying for her newspaper. It was still early in the morning but the sun was already shining brightly, a reason why the street was already buzzing with activity, allowing them to melt into the crowd without drawing attention towards them. After a few minutes, he stopped in front of a little café; a few of the tables on the sidewalk were unoccupied and Rafael casually sat down at one of them, watching how she casually seated herself at the table next to him, a smirk on his lips.

They were silent for a few minutes, except for both ordering a coffee, then Olivia couldn't take the silence anymore. A teasing smile stole its way onto her face while she opened the newspaper she'd bought and said: "One could think that you're stalking me, Barba."

He mirrored her gesture of opening the newspaper to shield from anybody passing by that he was actually talking to her and snorted. "Funny. That's what I always thought _you_ were doing."

"As I said, I don't believe in coincidences," Olivia replied with a mischievous wink, cocking her head to the side as if she was studying the commentary on the latest political developments. For a long moment neither of them said anything, and Olivia had to admit to herself that she didn't know what she was supposed to talk about – but then he'd been the one to ask her to sit here with her.

"The nights are really mild at the moment, aren't they?" Rafael suddenly said to break the awkward silence, his voice not as steady as before, showing her that he seemed to be nervous.

And somehow, she couldn't help but feel annoyed.

She'd thought that he had something he wanted to talk with her about; despite is recklessness the previous day she doubted that he would endanger them both just to have a conversation about something as trivial as the weather. Taking a deep breath, she kept herself from turning towards him with a glare and answered in a serious tone: "I'm risking my ass here to talk with you, so I seriously don't care about the weather – tell me why we're sitting here together, Barba."

From the corner of her eye she could see him smirk and she was sure that he was suppressing the urge to reply to the comment about her ass, but thankfully he didn't waste time on that. They were vulnerable out here on the street, and the longer they stayed in the vicinity of the other, the higher was the risk to be spotted by someone they knew.

"I like you and I want to spend time alone with you to get to know you."

He'd talked quickly but boldly, his tone serious, and he caught her by surprise, even though in the back of her mind she'd had a little bit of hope that he would ask her this. Olivia could feel her heart speeding up in her chest and she was well aware that her cheeks were starting to glow – and she was convinced that he'd spotted that, too. Her heart and the logical part of her started to argue, pointing out the dangers and how foolish agreeing would be, despite the good feeling his interest was waking inside of her...

But then she already knew that she only had one answer for him.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Let me surprise you," he replied quietly and she nodded softly before standing up, earning a weird glance from the waiter who'd just been about to ask her what she wanted to order. When she pushed past Rafael's table she felt how his hand briefly brushed against the pocket of her coat and she smiled inwardly. Any normal person wouldn't have noticed, but she knew all the tricks of the pickpockets just as well as he did. Slowly wandering down the street, she knew him to be only a few steps behind her, and it was a new but not entirely uncomfortable feeling.

Her fingers slipped into her coat pocket and brushed against a piece of paper that definitely hadn't been there before. After crossing the street and walking into the little park she used as a shortcut to her home, she pulled the paper out of her pocket and a smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she read the address, date and time scribbled on it, followed by an invitation _"Dance the night away with me"_.

OoO

Olivia's heart was beating fast in her chest and she couldn't deny that she was incredibly nervous as she examined her reflection in the large mirror hanging in her hallway. She'd spent the last two hours in front of her wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear. Usually she wasn't the type of woman who spent her nights at dance clubs, as she was mostly too occupied with her work, and if she happened to visit such etablissements it was _for_ work. But tonight was different.

It was a date... a real date with Rafael Barba. It was something she hadn't dared to hope for for years, but now it was finally happening. It was scary and exciting at the same time, and she really wanted everything to be as good as it could be when you had to watch out that nobody recognised you.

Ultimately she'd decided for a rather simple but elegant knee-length black dress with a lace neckline that was slightly revealing, black t-strap heels and a long pearl necklace matching the dress. A sparkly black pin was holding her curly chestnut hair back on one side of her head and she'd completed the classy but sexy look with dark red lipstick and a little bit of makeup that brought out her brown eyes. Her fingers were shaking slightly as she smoothed down her dress and then grabbed the black coat she'd already picked out, knowing that she had to leave soon if she wanted to catch the train.

Rafael had picked a club in the Upper West Side, far enough from Lower Manhattan to minimise the chance that someone they knew would be among the visitors. Unfortunately, the long ride on the subway gave Olivia enough time to become even more nervous, and she couldn't keep herself from checking her appearance in the little pocket mirror she carried in her purse.

When she walked down the street towards the club she feared for a moment that Rafael wouldn't be there, but only a moment later she spotted him in front of the entrance. Relief flooded her, washing a little bit of the nervousness away and she managed to put on a smile as she approached him. Her heart made a few big leaps as she took in his appearance – he looked incredibly good in his black suit with the matching fedora sitting slightly askew on his head, but what really made her body tingle was the smile he shot her when he saw her.

"You look phenomenal," he said after a moment of silence in which they'd just stood in front of each other, smiling and taking in the other's appearance, as if they both couldn't quite believe that the other really showed up.

Olivia felt her cheeks glowing but somehow she didn't mind. "Thank you," she answered quietly and then took his arm as he offered it to her, letting him lead her inside.

A mere half hour later Olivia felt a lot more relaxed and wondered why she'd been so nervous in the first place. The conversation between them was flowing easily as they sipped champagne and ate a little snack, talking about books and travelling. They purposely avoided the topic of their work, except for the occasional tease that lightened the mood.

And even when they were silent to listen to the band for a moment it didn't get uncomfortable at all, especially when they exchanged small smiles and Rafael tentatively reached over the table to brush his fingers over the back of her hand. To Olivia, the gesture felt comforting and natural, and to keep him from pulling back, she gently laced her fingers through his, causing him to smile.

"Would... would you like to dance?" he asked a few minutes later after clearing his throat, and she found it nearly adorable how nervous he could sometimes be.

"I would love to."

He hurried to stand up, not letting go of her hand when he bowed slightly and escorted her to the dancefloor. The band played a catchy, cheery tune as he slipped his arm around her waist and she placed her hand on his shoulder. Their gazes were locked as he led her into a rhythm matching the music and she forgot about their surroundings very quickly, him being the only thing that was left in her focus. A few rather fast songs later the band changed to a slow song and they stopped dancing in surprise, staring at each other before starting to chuckle at the same time.

"Do we want to stop?"

"No, no," Olivia hurried to reply, afraid that he could let go of her, but to her relief, he didn't. Instead he pulled her closer and she happily wrapped her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent and enjoying how his warmth seeped into her where their bodies were touching. Her cheek brushed against his accidentally, and when he didn't pull back she closed her eyes, wishing they could dance like this forever. In this moment they were just one of many couples on the dancefloor, a man and a woman enjoying their date, not two people who belonged on opposite sides of a ruthless criminal system.

Being close to him, being held by him gently while he hummed the melody of the song close to her ear... it just felt so right.

They danced until the club closed a little after two in the morning and while Rafael helped her into her coat, he quietly asked her if she wanted to take a walk along Central Park before going home. Without hesitating she agreed, the thought of being able to walk right next to him without having to keep a safe distance lifting her spirits to unknown heights. If there was something like a perfect date, she was sure that it would be like this.

His hand slipped around hers as they left and she smiled at him, the expression of adoration and affection in his green eyes making her feel warm in the cool night air. The silvery light of the full moon was shining down at them as they wandered through the empty Central Park hand in hand, talking about everything that came to their minds. Time flew by fast and before they knew it, the first golden rays of dawn illuminated the sky. Rafael brought her to the next subway station and before their ways parted, he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, whispering into her ear that he couldn't wait to see her again.

OoO

The summer slowly went by, and so did many secret meetings between Olivia and Rafael. Olivia felt like she was caught in a wonderful dream whenever she was with him and she found it easy to forget about the harsh reality in which the Lucarnos and Coppolas had already had some violent collisions. When they explored a different part of the city together, danced all night or just sat together in a park, she felt like a normal person without worries.

This romance seemed to give her some of the innocence back that she'd lost too early in her life, and for the first time she really felt wanted and... loved.

Not even the caution with which they had to move all the time could put a damper on the effortlessness with which they grew closer.

Even though they both hadn't said these three magical words out loud they both knew what the other one felt. Sometimes, neither of them had to say something – they could communicate with a few glances, knowing what the other one was thinking about.

However, while the summer warmth was slowly leaving the city, the heat between the rivaling families only seemed to rise, and one day, even their safe little bubble burst.

Olivia was walking through Lower Manhattan on her way to yet another date with Rafael, a spring in her step and a small smile on her face, when she suddenly saw a dozen police men on the other side of the street. They were gathered in front of a shop, but the knot of spectators prevented her from getting any clue about what might have happened there. An uneasy feeling started to spread in her stomach as she slowly pushed through the crowd on the sidewalk, and it only got worse when she picked up a few words of the conversations.

"It's the mafia, they're starting a war..."

"They killed an associate, just shot him while driving by..."

Forcing herself to continue walking, she tried to blend the mumbling out, but still she felt fear rising inside of her. The harsh reality suddenly hit her and she curled her hands into fists to keep herself under control while moving forwards steadily. Her heart was beating painfully against her ribs and she could hear her own breathing very loudly as she saw from the corner of her eye how a body, covered with a thick, bloody cotton sheet, was loaded into an ambulance.

Tears started to burn in her eyes as she quickened her pace and ended up running through the streets towards the building whose rooftop had become their secret meeting point. Her coat was flying behind her as she hurried into the staircase and sprinted up the steps to the roof, inwardly begging that her worst fear wouldn't become reality.

 _To Be Continued..._

* * *

A/N: My writing music this time was the Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack by Abel Korzeniowski, especially 'Cheek of the Night' – it's absolutely wonderful :) The slow dancing is to 'Love is just a little bit of heaven' by Nat Shilkret & The Victor Orchestra.


	3. Chapter 3

Wohooo! It's finally done, people, chapter 3 is here! I struggled a bit with the first part and didn't get into a flow at first, so it took a bit longer.

I hope you like it, I can't wait to hear your opinions!

Have fun, and thanks for your reviews so far! :)

* * *

Olivia's wrists protested as she pushed the heavy steel door open and staggered onto the roof. The pebbles crunched underneath the soles of her shoes and her blood was rushing loudly in her ears as her eyes scanned the rooftop frantically, panic coursing through her.

The roof was empty.

She was convinced that her heart stopped beating for a moment as she came to a stop in the middle of the roof. Her legs suddenly felt weak and cold shivers ran down her spine as the realisation began to sink in.

Rafael was gone.

Tears burned in her eyes as she covered her mouth with her hand, and she couldn't keep them from falling, dripping down onto her fingers as she tried to hold the first sob in. It couldn't be true, this wasn't real... But then she remembered the scene of the drive by, and that she'd seen that there was a body. A sharp pain shot through her chest as she started to cry, violent sobs shaking her slender body as pictures of Rafael's beautiful green eyes flashed past her inner eye, empty, dead, staring into space...

She felt like she couldn't breathe, the thought of a life without Rafael squeezing her windpipe shut the way her mother had done once or twice in the past. Only now did she realise how much she'd gotten attached to him, how used she'd become to having him around. How much comfort his embrace could give her, and how much weight his smirk was able to lift off her heart. It was something she'd always tried to avoid, fearing the dangerous dependency love could be in the world she lived in... but yet here she was. Of course she'd dealt with a lot of loss in her still young life, and she'd always found a way to cope, however, right now she didn't know how she was supposed to push through this one.

A part of her just didn't want to imagine a future without him...

Suddenly she heard how the door to the roof was pushed open, footsteps coming closer and she whipped around, her vision blurred from the tears. But still the silhouette was unmistakable to her, she recognised him immediately, and for a moment she feared that she was hallucinating from the grief and shock.

"Olivia?" Rafael's voice was slightly breathy from walking up the stairs, confusion heavy in it, and she just knew that he was looking at her with wide eyes. For a few seconds she stood there, frozen as her mind tried to process what was happening, then she crossed the distance between them with a few big steps. A strangled sob fell from her lips as she slung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, only now believing that he was truly there. Rafael immediately pulled her into a tight embrace, his warmth engulfing her, and she could feel the pain slowly leaving her as he whispered comforting words to her.

"I thought you were dead." The words were barely audible, as her voice was still weak from crying, but the way Rafael pulled her even closer to his chest told her that he'd heard them. With her eyes closed she took deep breaths, inhaling his comforting scent while her heartbeat started to slow down.

Rafael couldn't deny that it had thrown him a little bit off track to see a strong woman like Olivia break down like this, but it also made him feel warm on the inside, now that the worry was gradually fading. She allowed him to see her like this, when all the walls she built around her came down and she was vulnerable. And she'd been worried about him, the thought of him being dead shaking her so much. So she was feeling it too – the connection between them that had gotten deeper with every time they met, with every smile or glance exchanged, with every innocent brush of their hands.

He couldn't deny that he'd felt almost the same level of distress on the inside when he'd seen the blood-covered pavement and the bullet holes in the shop window. Thus he needed this tight embrace just as she needed it to calm down, to assure him that she was unharmed.

Olivia could feel how Rafael took a shaky breath, then he leaned his cheek against her soft hair, whispering back: "I saw the scene... I was scared, too, Liv. I don't know what I would have done if it had been you..."

They didn't know for how long they stood there in that tight embrace, neither of them wanting to let go, but the sun was already setting when they slowly brought a tiny bit of space between them. The roof was dipped into a golden light and the noise from the street was far away when Rafael looked her into the eyes, his forehead gently touching hers.

"I wouldn't be able to bear to lose you," he confessed, the love in his green eyes causing Olivia's heart to skip a beat, and a small smile lifted the corners of her lips. "Call me crazy, especially in these times, but... I... you're the most important person in my life, I've never felt like this for someone..."

A light breeze caressed their faces and played with Olivia's hair while Rafael took a deep breath to calm himself. Normally he wasn't a nervous person, and thanks to his confidence he'd never had problems to say out loud what he was thinking. But this situation, it was different. It was much more meaningful, and it was a big step, one that could be dangerous for them both.

On the other hand, their countless secret dates had already endangered them greatly, so it seemed only right to say the reason why they'd done this out loud.

"I love you, Olivia Benson."

Even though it had felt like his heart would break out of his ribcage from beating so hard and fast, Rafael found that in the end, it had been easy to say the words he'd been wanting to say for such a long time.

Olivia's heart jumped joyfully at his words and her smile widened while her cheeks started to glow adorably. She loved the sound of them, the way he looked at her, open, vulnerable, honest, while his arms held her close in a gentle manner. It felt so right, so perfect... like home.

"I love you too, Rafael," she breathed, unable to bring the words out loud while she felt like she was drowning in those expressive green eyes of his, but it didn't matter. He was smiling down at her softly, pushing a lock of her hair out of her face gingerly, and suddenly the smile turned into a cheeky smirk.

"Our timing really is the worst, isn't it?"

"It is," Olivia replied with a chuckle, tightening her arms around his neck. "I have to warn you. I'm not a fan of Romeo and Juliet."

Rafael's smirk intensified while his gaze jumped between her eyes and her lips. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

She realised that he was waiting for her permission, so she leaned in a bit and a moment later their lips touched. Her eyelids fluttered shut as they kissed tentatively and pleasant tingles ran down her spine, goosebumps covering her skin, even though they were standing in the sun and it was a rather mild evening. Neither of them could deny that they'd spent one or another night dreaming about this moment, trying to imagine how it would feel...

But the dreams came nowhere close to reality, obviously. It was much more intense, the waves of feelings the kiss evoked threatening to wash them away as they threatened to lose themselves in each other.

They parted for air only very reluctantly, keeping their bodies pressed against each other while their foreheads touched and they looked each other into the eyes. Harsh pants left them both and Olivia chuckled breathlessly as she ran her fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck while he whispered: "I've been wanting to do this for a very long time."

"For how long exactly?" She winked up at him, a light-hearted smile on her face, her cheeks pink, and he smirked back.

"Longer than you'd think. You've been a frustration for me in several ways, even though I didn't admit some of them to myself."

They shared a short laugh, fingers running through hair and fingertips gliding over skin, then Olivia admitted: "I've been doing that on purpose. Frustrating you, I mean."

"I kind of figured that out at some point, mi amor," Rafael mumbled against her lips, his eyes sparkling with humour before he kissed her again. He had much more confidence this time, and Olivia melted into his arms, matching his intensity without hesitation, and together they forgot about their surroundings and all their worries for little, blissful eternity.

OoO

In the following days, Olivia and Rafael slowly found out that the hysteria about the families starting a war had been extremely exaggerated; though it was undeniable that the tension between them had spilled over, resulting in the death of an unimportant associate, it didn't look like the families were keen for bloodshed.

However, despite that being good news and a reason to be relieved, it didn't mean that they could be relaxed. It was quite the opposite – now that they'd confessed their feelings and deepened their relationship, it got even harder to conceal what was going on between them. They wanted to spend even more time together, and it got harder and harder to keep their hands off each other, even in situations that were more than dangerous.

Rafael was just glad that Carisi really was one of the most clueless persons he'd ever come across, otherwise Olivia and he would have had a big problem one night. They hadn't been able to meet up for a few days and had started missing each other, thus it had been a pleasant surprise for them when they happened to come across each other during a heist.

To cover up their happiness about seeing each other, they'd exchanged some thinly veiled insults and then went for their usual banter, but Olivia had given him this _look_ that had nearly gotten them into trouble. It had sent shivers down his spine and rendered him speechless for a full minute, the way her brown eyes had raked up and down his form with an unmistakable heat – she'd looked like she wanted to grab him by his suspenders and kiss him until he lost his mind.

Luckily for them, Carisi somehow didn't notice that she was practically undressing him with her gaze, a small, wicked smirk on her lips that would probably dominate Rafael's fantasies for a long time. This woman would be the death of him, and he would willingly let it happen.

At least close calls like that one were rare; they continued to be very cautious about when and where they met, but their increased need for privacy also proved to be difficult to fulfill. Restaurants and clubs in different parts of the town still were their favourite place for dates, just as their secret rooftop, but sometimes they just wanted somewhere where nobody could disturb them.

When they first discussed that topic, standing on the Brooklyn Bridge holding hands, they didn't consider their own apartments a possibility, unsure if it would be realisable to sneak past their sometimes nosy neighbours... However, the longer they thought about it, the more it dawned to them that it was their only option.

OoO

Olivia's heart raced in her chest as she paced around in the hallway of her apartment like a lion in his cage. Worry was filling her; today Rafael and her were daring to meet at her place for the first time. They'd planned this day carefully, considering every possible scenario – it was a big risk they were taking, and the consequences could be horrible if someone recognised Rafael when he was in her apartment block. But they didn't want the fear of discovery to keep them from being together, and so she was waiting for Rafael, ready to open the door the moment he knocked so he would be out of the hallway as fast as possible.

Planning had taken quite some time, and so she was eager to see him; they'd decided on her apartment because Rafael found his mother Lucia to be an unpredictable factor in the equation. She walked in and out of his place when she wanted – he was sure that she loved to annoy him – and so they would meet at Olivia's until he was able to figure out how to solve the problem.

Olivia jumped when she heard a sharp knock against the wood of her door and sprinted over, ripping the door open. Rafael immediately slipped into her apartment and she closed the door again, leaning her back against it while she released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "How did it go?"

"Well," Rafael said, slightly breathless as he took his fedora off and ran a hand over his chin. "I was nearly attacked by those carrier pigeons on the roof of the neighbour house and your neighbour's cat saw me coming down the stairs, but otherwise it went rather well."

She couldn't hold in a chuckle while he slipped his coat off, rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and loosened his tie before she moved forwards to hug him tightly. A small smile was on his lips when he held her close, inhaling her scent as she buried her face in his chest, glad that everything had worked out the way they'd wanted it to.

After a long moment they parted and she slipped her hand into his, pulling him into the living room with her. A bottle of wine and a few snacks were waiting for them on the coffee table – Olivia had prepared it before her anxiety had taken over around lunchtime – and it felt wonderful to settle on the sofa together, knowing that they were in no hurry. No need to always keep an eye on the people coming towards them on the pavement, or pay attention to who was entering the restaurant they were dining at.

The hours trickled by and it started to get dark outside; Olivia and Rafael were lying cuddled together on the sofa, soft music playing on the gramophone and candles dipping the room in a cosy, dim light while they enjoyed being so close to each other. Rafael's fingers were absent-mindly running through Olivia's hair, brushing it away from her face while she smiled up at him and pecked his lips.

"It's getting late," Rafael whispered after a few minutes, unsure how long she would let him stay. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable or push her into something she didn't want. At his words, Olivia carefully pushed herself up until their faces were levelled and gave him a cheeky smirk that made him gulp hard. Even after spending so much time with her she still managed to catch him off guard.

"You can stay if you want, Rafael."

Blinking in surprise while he stared at her, Rafael needed a moment to process her words to be sure that she really meant them, and that he hadn't misinterpreted any of the signals she was giving him. Feeling the need to reassure himself that she was serious, he cupped her cheek and asked softly: "Are you sure, Liv?"

She smiled at him, her heart skipping a beat about how much he respected her, and she leaned down to kiss him gently before she replied without hesitating: "I'm sure. I want you to stay."

Rafael's confidence returned almost immediately and he smiled back at her while he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her a bit closer when they started kissing. A groan of surprise left him when she pressed her body against his from head to toe and deepened the kiss hungrily, fingers curling around his suspenders.

OoO

Raindrops were softly hitting the windows and water dripped from the fire escape, creating a soothing soundscape that invited them to stay in bed all day, and so Olivia turned around in Rafael's arms with a content sigh, cuddling into his chest. He dropped a kiss onto her hair while he pulled the blankets tighter around them, wanting to keep the cool of the bedroom away from his lover and him.

It had become a habit for them to spend the weekends at Olivia's place, cuddling, making love, listening to music. Sometimes, he would read to her from books he brought from the library, his voice taking her to places far away, or they cooked together, Rafael introducing her to some Cuban dishes his mother had taught him. Her little apartment became their safe haven, the place where their worries were far away and they could just be, their secret away from the danger of revelation.

They both dozed off for some time, the rain lulling them into sleep while they held each other close, able to pretend for some blissful moments that they were just two normal people who loved each other.

He didn't know how much time had passed when he was woken by tender fingertips running from his shoulders down his chest and lips gently gliding over the scruff on his jawline. Rafael smirked as his eyes fluttered open and she rolled on top of him, straddling his hips with desire in her eyes.

The flame that had been burning between them for a long time had turned into an intense fire, and they sometimes felt dizzy from the passion they had for each other. They'd both assumed that it would die down eventually, but it only seemed to be growing as their emotional connection strengthened.

It was still raining outside when Liv pressed her lips to his for a slow, exploring kiss and he ran his hands up her sides, feeling her soft skin before one hand wandered downwards, the fingers of the other tangling in her hair. Endearments were whispered between kisses as they touched each other in an unhurried manner, and the outside world faded into the background as they made love.

OoO

Lucia Barba prided herself with the fact that she knew her son Rafael better than he knew himself, and so it wasn't hard for her to notice that something was going on with him. The change in his behaviour had started slowly, a few months ago; he would forget about dinners of lunches they'd planned, stare into space as if his thoughts were far away, and sometimes he vanished for a whole evening and night. But in the last few weeks, it had gotten even worse: she couldn't find him on the weekends, he didn't talk to her about what he was up to, and he seemed to become more chipper with every time they saw each other.

He was obviously keeping a pretty big secret from her, and that made her rather unhappy, but also extremely determined to find out what it was. Subtle questions and some gentle digging hadn't led to the results she'd been hoping for, and so she decided that it was time for more drastic measures.

She would deceive him with a little lie, and the moment he felt safe, she would make her move and find out what the hell he was hiding from his own mother.

It wasn't like she didn't respect his need for privacy... she just hated it when someone had secrets from her, and she was just too curious to let him be. Messing with her son just was too much fun sometimes she thought with a little smirk.

OoO

"So... yeah, this is my place," Rafael said with a lopsided smirk as he buried his hands in the pocket of his pants and watched how Olivia inspected his bookshelf with interest, fingertips wandering over the backs of the leatherbound books. "It's nothing special, I..."

"I like it," Olivia interrupted him with a soft smile, turning around to him; she didn't quite understand why he seemed a bit self-conscious. "It's cosy. And those drawings are beautiful. Who made those?"

She pointed at the frames hanging on the opposite wall, which contained black and white pictures of the New York skyline, the Brooklyn Bridge, people walking through Central Park and also ballet dancers, shaded into the last details. Rafael's expression softened as he looked at the drawings, then he walked over to Olivia and wrapped his arm around her waist, standing close to her as they both looked at the wall.

"My younger cousin. Sometimes I envy her for being able to completely lose herself in her own world when she draws or dances. She's too young to really know about all the bad things that happen every day," he replied with a hint of sadness and Olivia pressed a kiss to his cheek; he closed his eyes and smiled before taking a deep breath. "I bought some cake for us. Do you want coffee, too?"

"Yes, please." Still taking in the room, Olivia slowly sat down on the couch while Rafael walked off to the kitchen. His mother had announced surprisingly that she would be in Boston for a week to visit her sister, and they had welcomed the opportunity to spend the weekend at Rafael's place – the change of scenery would be good to keep her neighbours from noticing a pattern if they happened to see a man vanish in her apartment more often. Also it was easier for her to get to his apartment undetected than it was for him to get to hers, and with autumn bringing rain and cool temperatures, it became a lot more dangerous for Rafael to climb over roofs.

But Olivia had also been looking forward to seeing how he lived, and Rafael had been eager to share his most private space with her. And she found that she liked his apartment – it was completely him – though she could tell that some things had been picked out by his mother – and she instantly felt home.

OoO

"I'll be back within the hour, corazon," Rafael whispered softly while pushing a strand of Olivia's hair out of her face, and when she smiled up at him he kissed her. He was leaving her only reluctantly, but he wanted to cook dinner for her later and he'd forgotten to buy some ingredients.

"Hurry, love," she said with a longing gaze, her fingers toying with his suspenders, and Rafael smirked, another kiss sealing the promise to be back as soon as possible.

While Olivia cuddled deeper into his sheets and inhaled his scent that clung to the fabric, he slipped into his coat and grabbed his umbrella, determined not to let his Olivia wait too long for him.

There weren't many people on the street, the heavy downpours and thunderstorms of the previous days causing everyone to avoid going outside if they could, and the few people Rafael came across seemed to be in sour moods. Rafael, on the other hand, had a slight skip in his step as he avoided the puddles, and a small smile was on his face; only months ago, he probably would have had the same grumpy expression on his face, and he didn't miss the times when he felt lonely and secretly adored Olivia from afar.

Not even half an hour later he was on his way back, carrying a bag with vegetables, and his thoughts were already with Olivia again. While hurrying through a narrow alley between two houses that he always used as a shortcut, he didn't notice anything around him, until he suddenly heard a wail from behind one of the heavy metal dumpsters standing by the brick wall. Unsure if he'd imagined the sound, he slowed his pace and looked around, trying to locate the source of the noise, and when he heard it again, he took a few steps back.

Rafael's eyes widened in shock and for a moment he could just stare, frozen into place.

Lying in a big basket behind the dumpster, tucked into several thick wool blankets that weren't even damp yet, was a baby, crying loudly in a way that made his heart clench.

Still standing there, Rafael turned his head, his gaze wandering up and down the alley, trying to see a sign of whoever might have left the baby here, but nobody was there. Maybe the mother of the little thing had put it down here and would come back soon, changing her mind about leaving her child, he thought while he moved to pick up the basket from the ground and thus shielded the baby from the rain with his umbrella. Big brown eyes stared up at him as the sobs of the baby faded, and Rafael glanced around once more, inwardly begging for the mother to come back.

She just had to! He knew he couldn't leave the baby here in the rain, behind a dumpster, he just couldn't because it wasn't right and it would surely mean that it would die.

Rafael didn't know for how long he'd been standing there, hoping that someone would come running down the alley, but eventually he guessed that this wouldn't happen, and the realisation felt like a punch to the gut.

OoO

Olivia smiled to herself when she heard Rafael unlock the door and she hurried to get out of bed, pulling her underwear and his creased dress shirt on quickly before she walked out into the hallway, stopping dead in her tracks when she spotted Rafael. She blinked a few times, even pinched herself to make sure that she wasn't hallucinating, and then she blurted out: "A baby wasn't on the shopping list, right?"

Rafael didn't laugh, but she also hadn't really meant for it to be funny – her brain just didn't seem to be able to cope with the sight of the basket in another way. As the initial shock faded, she closed the distance between them and gently lifted the baby out of the basket while Rafael replied, his voice shaking: "I found the baby behind a dumpster, and... and it's so cold outside, I couldn't leave it there! I waited for some time, but nobody came back to get it."

They looked each other into the eyes for a moment, and she could tell how deeply shaken he was by the incident, and so she gave him a soft smile. "It was the right thing, love. Come on, let's get you two warmed up."

She looked down at the baby in her arms as they walked into the living room; it was looking around quietly, curiosity shining in the brown eyes, and then it smiled up at her. The jump her heart made at that was completely unexpected, and she chuckled softly while sitting down on the sofa. Rafael followed her a minute later, carrying a few blankets, and he smirked as the saw the interaction. "Should I have written a baby on the shopping list, mi amor?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she said, rolling her eyes at him before gently unwrapping the baby from the damp fabric. A lazily folded piece of paper was revealed, and Rafael took it gingerly after sitting down next to her, their shoulders touching.

"Hello, I'm Noah, please take care of me," he read out aloud with a frown while Olivia gently ran her thumb over the baby boy's chubby cheek. "They could have brought him to an orphanage instead of risking for him to freeze to his death."

Olivia didn't really hear him; she seemed mesmerised by the soft giggle Noah gave her. "Hello Noah. Aww, you're so adorable."

Rafael could see a gleam in her brown eyes, and in that moment he knew that she was sunk. He shifted nervously, not sure how he should react – he'd never entertained the thought of having a family, scared that he could behave to a wife and children the way his father did... But he also knew that he wouldn't be able to leave Olivia on her own with this baby boy, just like he hadn't been able to walk away when he saw him in that alley.

"I'll take care of you, don't you worry, little one," Olivia whispered to Noah and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. "Here, can you hold him a second? I'll get my notebook to write down what I'll need."

And before he could even react, she'd placed Noah in his arms, nearly giving him a heart attack. Panic rose inside of him and she noticed it immediately in the awkward way he held the boy and in his wide, fearful eyes. She smiled softly and carefully helped him to adjust his hold. "Don't worry, love, you're doing good. Just support his head."

Rafael gulped hard, his heart still beating hard in his chest while he took a deep breath at the reassuring nod she gave him, then he looked down at the boy cradled against his chest. Noah gave him the same sweet smile he'd given Olivia earlier, and then his tiny fingers grabbed Rafael's suspenders, a giggle breaking out of him.

Olivia leaned her head against Rafael's shoulder and he smiled goofily when she said: "He likes you."

Suddenly they heard a gasp from the doorway and they turned their heads in shock; Lucia Barba was standing there, mouth opening and closing in shock while she stared at the scene, obviously trying to make sense of it. Both Olivia and Rafael could understand her reaction; they figured that she hadn't expected to see her son with a half-clothed Olivia – well, she had – but definitely not with a baby. And then Rafael blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "It's not what it looks like, Mamí!"

 _To Be Continued..._

* * *

A/N: My writing music for this chapter was once again provided by the amazing Abel Korzeniowski – W. E. soundtrack, also his Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. But in the end the two amazing albums of Beyond The Black powered me through it ;)


	4. Chapter 4

So, here we go again. We're getting closer to the finish, chapter five might be the last or second to last chapter! I haven't gotten it outlined yet.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I'm looking forward to your opinions!

* * *

Lucia Barba was convinced that she was in the middle of one of her most hopeful dreams – because her son giving her a grandchild definitely was a dream she was longing for to come true – and that she would wake up any moment. She blinked a few times as she took the scene in, heard her son's words about how it wasn't what it looked like, and she pinched the skin at her wrist. It hurt, convincing her that she was truly looking at her son holding a baby, which looked suspiciously like him in her opinion. And next to him, touching Rafael's hand and shoulder, sat Olivia Benson, the very woman her son had always denied to have feelings for, even though they both knew that he'd been having a very soft spot for her ever since they'd been teenagers.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she let a smirk take over her expression and she looked at Rafael while leaning against the doorframe casually. "Oh, I don't know, hijo, what does this look like? You've obviously been keeping a very big secret from me for the last few months, now I walk in on you and the woman you've been in love with for years and you two are holding an adorable little baby. I'm just asking myself why I wasn't invited to the wedding!"

Of course Lucia knew fully well that the baby, despite the striking similarities it had with Olivia and Rafael, couldn't be from them – she just loved to mess with them a little bit, it was great to see them squirm. After all, Rafael _had_ kept a secret from her, despite him knowing how much she hated such behaviour from him; thus, she decided that they deserved a little punishment.

"Mamí! There was no... we're not... he isn't ours!" Rafael spluttered, his green eyes widening, and Lucia could barely keep herself from showing openly how triumphant she felt about making her son temporarily lose his confidence. "This is a big misconception!"

"His name is Noah. Rafael found him in an alley about an hour ago," Olivia added quietly, speaking for the first time; she'd tried to adjust Rafael's dress shirt a little bit to appear more modest, but it was still obvious what they'd been doing at some point today. Not that Lucia judged them for it – she'd been young and in love once, too. She was truly happy for them that they'd finally found their way to each other, especially as she'd seen it coming years ago already.

Shock coursed through Lucia at Olivia's words and the smirk instantly disappeared from her face. Of course she knew that things like that happened all the time, but it was a completely different thing to be confronted with it directly.

"Oh, how could anyone do this to you? You're such an adorable little guy," Lucia cooed softly as she moved over to the couch and sat down on Rafael's other side, running her finger over the boy's chubby cheek. Noah looked at her curiously, then he gave her a cute smile as well, pulling on Rafael's suspender a bit.

"What a lucky baby he is," she said, sounding almost matter of factly, and smiled softly at Olivia and Rafael when they shot her confused glances. "Of all the people that could have found him, it was you. Now he has people who really care about him, don't you, amigo?"

Despite her son's insecurities when it came to the thought of marriage and children, Lucia just knew that he would be there for Olivia and Noah. She knew her son, maybe better than he knew himself, and he was a good man, not like his father at all. His heart was a big one, and underneath the shield of smart and snarky words was a gentle and caring man; she had no doubt that he would be a good father, regardless if Noah and he were related by blood or not.

"I will support you two, no matter what you'll need, no matter what happens. We're familia now, my dear!"

She leaned in and patted Olivia's hand in a motherly gesture; if she was honest, she'd been looking forward to this day since she figured out that Rafael had feelings for her. Olivia seemed a bit taken aback at first, as if she couldn't quite believe that Lucia was accepting her without any hesitation, but then she smiled back at her in relief.

"Oh, I still have lots of Rafael's old baby clothes and toys, and his baby buggy!" Excitement was welling up inside of her at the thought of going through the boxes in her attic, and at seeing how Noah would look in the cute clothes. "Now, mijo, how about you cook us something for lunch and I go to my place and get some of the things over here, hm? And make sure Olivia and Noah stay warm, the weather isn't very pleasant and we don't want you to get ill!"

Before either of them could say anything Lucia was already striding towards the door, mentally making notes about what she would need to bring. This was absolutely fabulous, finally something interesting was happening, and the joy she'd been hoping for was entering her son's life. They would definitely have to celebrate later, she wouldn't let this opportunity pass by – you only became a surprise grandmother once in your life!

OoO

"I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised about how easily your mother accepted the whole situation," Olivia said quietly as she gently rocked Noah in her arms, watching how Rafael stirred in a big pot. Heavenly smells filled the small kitchen and she caught herself thinking that she would love to get used to having him treat her with his surprisingly amazing cooking skills. If only they could meet more often than only on the weekends...

Rafael turned his head to shoot her a smirk over his shoulder before he replied: "She's been waiting for this day all my life, it would have been alarming if she hadn't embraced the situation after two minutes."

Rafael had to admit that today, he was glad that Lucia could be a person who unconditionally accepted circumstances and tried to make the best out of them. The thought of having to help Olivia with Noah on his own, without having any experience with babies, had been incredibly scary, but now, with his mother on board, he knew that they would be able to manage this. She could be overbearing and had a habit of invading his privacy, but sometimes just that proved to be useful.

He continued to stir the sauce he was preparing when he suddenly felt Olivia's lips connect with his neck gently and Noah's tiny fingers curled around the fabric of his dress shirt as she stepped so close to him that her torso almost touched his back.

"And you? Are you really okay with all of this? I'm throwing you into all of this..." Her voice was merely a whisper, and if she hadn't stood so close to him he probably wouldn't have understood her. There was so much worry and insecurity swinging in her voice that Rafael pushed the pot off the stove carefully and hurried to turn around. His heart clenched at the expression in her beautiful brown eyes; there was a trace of fear visible in them and Rafael cupped her cheek while Noah looked at them with big eyes.

"Liv... of course I am. I admit that all of this is a lot to stomach for now, but I promise you, Liv, I won't let you down on this. I love you, and I will support you and this little munchkin."

There wasn't even the tiniest trace of doubt inside of him when he spoke to her, his gaze locking with hers. He'd never planned to become a father, but right now he felt like he was more open to the possibility than ever before – maybe Noah's big brown eyes and adorable smile were to blame for that. Who could resist those chubby cheeks?

"I love you too," Olivia whispered, tears gleaming in her eyes, but she was smiling and it showed Rafael that she believed him. Careful not to get Noah caught between them, he pulled her towards him and kissed her gently, putting all the intense love he felt for her into the kiss. For one peaceful moment he imagined the three of them, walking through the park, pushing Noah's baby buggy, everybody thinking what a beautiful little family they were, and he smiled against Olivia's lips. To him, it was an incredibly beautiful picture, and he momentarily forgot about all the possible complications that could taint that blissful life.

"Now, you two, I thought you wanted to prepare lunch?" Lucia exclaimed as she walked past the kitchen door with a big box in her arms, a smirk audible in her voice, and Olivia and Rafael almost jumped away from each other in surprise – they hadn't heard her coming back.

"Mamí, how many times have I told you that I don't want you sneaking into my home like you're about to search for valuables?! Respect my fucking privacy!"

Rafael tried hard to keep his voice low, not wanting to startle Noah, and so his words lacked their usual sharpness. Well, not that that would have made any impact in this situation, as it had failed the thousand times he'd said it before.

"Language, Rafael!" Lucia scolded him as she came into the kitchen, holding a few baby clothes. "We don't want Noah to hear you using profanities and imitating you. And I tell you, one day you'll be grateful that I can still move as quietly as a cat!"

She looked so proud about not having lost her touch yet that Olivia couldn't help but smile, and she asked herself if this was a dream. Was this how it felt to have a real family, one where everything people did was entirely motivated by love? Bickering affectionately, spending their weekends together, worrying about each other... and without any hesitation, Lucia Barba seemed to have made her a part of this little family, together with Noah.

The term family had only ever been connected to criminal business for her; despite the fact that without the Lucarno rabble she would probably have starved to death long ago due to neglection by her mother, she'd never felt any warmth towards any of the members. Associating herself with them had been an action purely out of the instinct to survive and to escape her mother's changing moods.

And in this moment, she felt the hope that everything would change to the better now, and it mixed with the feeling that she'd finally found what she'd been missing for years.

"I highly doubt that I'll ever be able to appreciate your antics, especially after that one time you moved my furniture a few inches off their usual positions!"

"It was an experiment," Lucia shot back casually and Olivia snorted, trying not to imagine too vividly how Rafael had bumped into his couch and consoles, cursing his own mother. These two were a unique duo; she knew from the local rumour mill that Barba senior had treated his wife and son horribly behind closed doors, and she assumed that it must have taken a lot of time for them to be able to act so carefree with each other. Rafael hadn't talked much about his father to her, and she'd also preferred not to talk about her mother, but it had become clear that the day his father died he'd felt like celebrating.

Lucia smirked at Rafael when he rolled his eyes about her and carefully took Noah from Olivia's arms. "Now, you two prepare the lunch and I will change this little amigo and put him down for a nap. Yes, you're tired, pequeñajo, I know. It's been a lot today."

Rafael felt his heart melt into a gooey puddle at the little yawn baby Noah made while Lucia carried him out of the kitchen, continuing to quietly talk with him as she moved down the hallway. Before taking care of the food he'd been preparing again, he pecked Olivia's lips and took the time to look at her with a smile. He was hoping that it would all work out in their favour – he didn't want to imagine a life without Olivia.

Some time later the three adults were finishing up the delicious lunch Rafael had cooked for them, and Lucia suddenly seemed uncharacteristically quiet as she leaned back in her chair, her gaze silently gliding over to Olivia and Rafael. A worry line appeared on her forehead, one that Rafael hadn't seen in quite some time, and he took Olivia's hand under the table, lacing his fingers through hers while waiting for his mother to speak.

"I want you two to be careful. The times are changing for the worse and you're already playing with fire. And now with Noah involved... it will be impossible to conceal him, and if Rafael is ever seen with him they'll immediately make the connection. I really don't hope that will ever happen, and I hate to talk about these things right now, but I just have to make sure you are aware of the dangers."

Olivia and Rafael both knew that she was completely right, and though it dampened their happiness about being together and having instantly fallen for baby Noah, they had to acknowledge that this was a topic they had to think and talk about right now.

"You're right," Olivia said quietly, her grip on Rafael's hand tightening, as if she needed to hold on to him, and she relaxed again when he squeezed back. "We knew from the beginning that we can't be seen together. That doesn't change now. It'll be more complicated, but we'll figure it out, I'm sure."

There was confidence and determination in her voice, and Lucia smiled softly while Rafael straightened his back, once again proud and impressed by the strength his love was displaying. It would be difficult, and they would have less freedom for secret dates and meetings, but he found himself more than willing to take these steps to protect the little bubble they'd formed around themselves.

OoO

Even though they spent the rest of their weekend talking about how to prevent the revelation of their relationship through Noah, Olivia and Rafael enjoyed the time together, his apartment providing a safe haven. They cuddled with Noah a lot and Rafael lost a lot of sleep while watching Olivia and Noah slumber, Noah lying in their middle, tucked into warm blankets. The soft moonlight illuminated them and they both smiled in their sleep, melting his heart. In that very moment he wished he could see this every day and night, without somebody keeping them apart. He wanted these two around him all the time, and the thought of them becoming a real little family filled him with joy.

Parting ways on Sunday evening was really hard, especially as Noah, obviously sensing what was going on, started crying, nearly breaking Rafael's heart. He tried to soothe him, kissed his chubby cheeks and gave him the whispered promise that they would see each other again very soon. However, Noah only calmed down when Rafael started to hum a lullaby to him his mother had always sang for him when he'd been a child, and before they knew it, Noah was fast asleep against his chest.

When Olivia and Noah were gone, Rafael found himself feeling incomplete, and he wasn't able to shake that feeling off for days; he missed them more than he would have expected, and he asked himself how that was possible – Noah had been in his life for only a few days and he already felt love for the little guy.

Around the middle of the week he couldn't take it anymore and managed to get a message relayed to Olivia that he needed to see them, even if it was only from afar.

The next day he was wandering through a little park in the neighbourhood; it was one of the rare days in autumn on which the sun was shining and the colourful leaves were glowing in the warm light. It didn't take long for him to spot them, Olivia sitting on a bench, the baby buggy next to her, and Noah lying against her chest.

She was smiling happily as Noah's short arms reached up for her face, his tiny fingers grasping for her hair. The light breeze carried Noah's chuckles over to him and the tension he'd felt over the last days left his shoulders; in that moment he truly realised that he was completely sunk.

Watching Olivia cuddle Noah would bring him through the rest of the week, he guessed, and so he lingered for as long as he thought to be safe for the three of them before he left the park, a skip in his step as he walked home.

OoO

Everything went well for nearly two weeks; Olivia's neighbours didn't ask many questions about the orphan and Lucia proved to be a very essential part of their routine whenever Olivia needed to go somewhere she couldn't take Noah, whether it was for a job or for bringing her mother groceries. Lucia turned out to be as talented with disguises as she was with picking locks, and so she effortlessly entered and left Olivia's place without raising any suspicions. She would babysit Noah for as long as Olivia needed her to, and it made everything a lot easier, as Lucia loved to spend time with the baby boy and Olivia was more flexible.

Olivia had decided that she didn't want to take Noah to her mother's place for as long as she could avoid it – it wasn't the kind of surroundings she wanted Noah to be confronted in his life, ever, regardless if he was too small to understand or even remember any of it. She didn't want him to witness how vicious Serena could be when she was drunk, and additionally Olivia wasn't sure at all what her mother would do if she saw the baby. Her reactions could be unpredictable, and Olivia wanted to protect Noah from whatever she could have in store.

Thus she wasn't happy at all when Lucia caught a bad flu and would be unable to take care of Noah for a few days just when she hadn't checked on Serena for some time. For hours she tried to think of a solution, ready to do anything to keep Noah away from the place she always dreaded to enter, but she just couldn't think of anything. She felt sick when she realised that she would have to take Noah, and she was barely able to hold back her tears when she cuddled her boy in an attempt to keep herself from losing her mind. In this moment she felt a kind of fear simmering inside her that she'd never experienced before – it seemed to have a cold, iron grip on her insides, threatening to crush her, and everything inside screamed that she shouldn't go, that her mother would probably not notice anyway if she waited another few days.

Of course it wasn't the first time she'd felt reluctant to check on her mother, as the place held the worst childhood memories she could think of and despite Olivia standing on her own feet now Serena's behaviour towards her daughter hadn't changed at all.

Olivia was shivering when she pushed the baby buggy with a napping Noah down the street towards her mother's block; she'd thought everything through, made an exact plan on how long she would stay and how she would keep Noah out of her mother's reach. She would go inside, leave Noah standing in the small entrance hall, put the groceries into the kitchen and check if Serena was still alive, then she would be out again.

It sounded foolproof, like a good and solid plan that would work well.

But still there was a bad feeling deep inside her, having her on the edge during the whole walk from her place to the house she'd been so happy to escape all these years ago. There was nothing concrete she could put her finger on, it was just her gut feeling, and she hoped that it was just nervosity that would pass in a few minutes.

Silence was hanging in the air thickly when Olivia unlocked the door to Serena Benson's apartment and quietly pushed Noah's buggy into the hallway. Fortunately Noah was still asleep and thus unaware of the tension that his Mama felt as she took a deep breath and moved into the kitchen to put away the food she bought. From the lack of reaction to the presence in the apartment Olivia deduced that her mother was probably passed out on the couch once again – luckily, she told herself, her heart racing in her chest.

However, she ran out of luck only a rough minute later, when she tip-toed into the living room where her mother was lying on the couch, like she'd suspected. Noah, obviously done with his nap, suddenly started screaming and crying, making Olivia jump, and a moment later, Serena was sitting up on the couch, just as startled. Her gaze wandered through the room in confusion for a moment, then her eyes focused on Olivia and narrowed, fury glittering in them; Olivia had trouble to keep calm and not let the memories of the previous times her mother had looked at her like that overwhelm her.

"What is that?" Serena asked sharply, a light slur in her voice, and she pushed herself to her feet, swaying dangerously as she moved towards the hallway to investigate. Fear rushed through Olivia in icy shivers and she hurried down the hallway before Serena, bowing over the buggy when she reached it to show Noah that she was there. Upon seeing her, Noah's sobs died down, but only a moment later he started crying again because of the high volume of Serena's voice.

"What the hell is that, Olivia? Where did that baby come from?! Did you let yourself get knocked up with that bastard like the cheap..."

Olivia tuned out, forcing herself not to listen to the insults her mother was throwing at her while she shielded Noah from Serena with her whole body. Why had she come here? She should have listened to her goddamned gut feeling, it was right most of the time.

Carefully pushing the buggy backwards she made her way to the door, always having an eye on her ranting mother, but Serena seemed too absorbed into her tirade about how disappointed she was into her daughter to notice that Olivia was making an escape.

Only a minute later Olivia was rushing down the street with the buggy, barely able to hold back the tears of shock that were burning in her eyes. Noah had stopped crying the moment they were out of the house and Olivia tried to cling to the calm expression in his brown eyes as they made their way home.

Her heartbeat only slowed down when they were safely cuddled under a kilt on the couch and Noah's soft chuckles warmed her insides again.

OoO

A quiet weekend with Rafael later, Olivia was finally able to forgive herself for bringing Noah into such a potentially dangerous situation. Rafael had listened calmly when she'd told him about what happened in Serena's apartment, and when she'd started crying he'd held her close, whispering soothing words. He'd told her again and again that she wasn't to blame, and that he could understand why she'd taken their boy, and at some point, Olivia had allowed herself to believe him.

Separating on Sunday evening seemed to get harder with every week, and Rafael was only glad that Noah was already asleep when he slipped on his coat – he always felt horrible when the little boy tried to reach for him with his short arms, demanding cuddles, and he had to go.

There were barely any words to describe how happy he was currently; everything was going smoothly with their weekends, Lucia didn't burst into his apartment uninvited as often anymore – probably because she didn't want to risk interrupting them – and for two blissful days he could pretend that they were a normal young family enjoying a lazy weekend at home.

When he walked home, taking a shortcut through a dimly lit alley so he wouldn't have to spend more time in the late autumn cold than necessary, he was still filled with happiness; not even the bad weather was able to destroy his mood lately.

Maybe he should have seen it coming; it had been too good to be true, really.

But he didn't, and so he was completely confused and unprepared when a fist suddenly shot out from behind a corner, hitting him square in the jaw with so much force that he immediately fell to the ground, mud soaking his coat and trousers. He was too shocked to react properly, and so he must have appeared like a limp sack when he was grabbed by the collar and pulled up onto his knees. His vision was slightly blurred, rainwater dripped into his eyes as someone fisted their hand into his short hair and pulled his head back so he faced the dark sky.

The cold voice next to his ear made an icy shiver run down his spine, and it woke the instinct to run. "Listen, you filthy Cubano, stay the hell away from Olivia or we'll slit your throat and dump you in the Hudson, and that bastard baby of yours too."

When the voice mentioned Noah, Rafael wanted to struggle against the hands holding him, feeling the need to fight them off and show that he would do everything to protect his little boy... But he seemed to be paralysed by fear, unable to make his limbs obey his commands.

"You better do as we say," a second voice added, and Rafael gulped hard. "They say you're smart, so you know what would be a wise decision. See this as a warning."

A second later, a fist hit Rafael in the stomach and he groaned in pain, sinking to the ground again; he heard footsteps moving away from him and he clenched his hands into fists, trying desperately to calm himself down.

Afterwards he truly couldn't remember how he managed to drag himself out of that alley and to his mother's place, and he also had no idea how Olivia had gotten there... he was just happy to see her face. Lines of worry were covering her beautiful features as she knelt down next to the couch he was lying on now, after Lucia had stripped the muddy clothes off him. He assumed that he looked frightening, he could feel the bruise spreading on his swollen face, and he tried to give her a soothing smile while taking her hand.

"They must have been from Lucarno's rabble," he says quietly, even though she didn't ask what happened. "They told me to stay away from you... Liv..."

The memory of the words they'd whispered into his ear made him shudder, his heart clenching painfully, and though he knew that she would be able to handle hearing the whole truth, he couldn't bring himself to repeat them again. When Lucia had inspected his injuries earlier he'd told her everything, too much in a shock to feel all the weight on him, but now, as he calmed down, it threatened to crush him.

"Noah is in danger, too."

Fear had already been shining in her brown eyes, but now they widened, panic entering the mix, and Rafael gulped hard. All their happiness seemed to fall apart, and there was nothing he felt he could do.

"I will do everything to protect him, I promise," he said, but to him it sounded horribly empty, and he knew that there was barely anything he could do. Tears were gleaming in Olivia's eyes and Rafael sat up, wincing while ignoring the pain in his ribs, and pulled her into his arms, feeling the need to hold her close.

They didn't notice how Lucia slipped from the living room and left the apartment, a grim yet determined expression on her face – they were too occupied trying to comfort each other.

"Maybe... maybe we should leave New York," Rafael suggested, his cheek resting against Olivia's temple. The thought of eloping together seemed to be the only spark of hope he could spot in this pitch black void. "Go to a place far away from here, where nobody knows us, start a new life, raise Noah in peace where he's safe... What do you think?"

She didn't answer for quite some time, taking deep breaths, and Rafael asked himself why she was hesitating. It was the only solution he could see; staying in New York would either force them apart or put them into danger they couldn't calculate.

"I... I don't think I can leave my mother on her own."

Olivia's voice was uncharacteristically shaky, and Rafael felt like that wasn't the real problem, that there was a different reason for her reluctance to agree to his plan. They'd talked about her mother before, briefly, and of course he knew from the rumour mills what kind of woman Serena Benson was. The parallels to his own father had shocked him the first time, if he was honest.

But he couldn't imagine Olivia putting her mother's dependency on her above Noah's safety, and so he pulled back from their embrace, looking her into the eyes while he asked: "Liv, what's going on?"

Holding his gaze, she chewed on her bottom lip and shifted uneasily. "Liv, tell me. Whatever it is, we'll find a solution!"

"Rafael, there's no solution for this," she replied, her voice barely audible. "I'm sorry I kept it from you all the time, I really am! I just... I didn't know how to tell you."

 _To Be Continued..._

* * *

A/N: Writing music was Rachmaninoff's 2nd Piano Concerto, also all albums by my favourite band Saltatio Mortis.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks a lot to Dina, for helping me with plotting out the end and doing some proof-reading! Wanderers for life :*

Here we go, this is the last chapter of this AU. I had a lot of fun writing it, I hope you had just as much fun reading it... Thank you so much for all the nice reviews! :)

* * *

Rafael gulped hard, icy fear rushing through his body at Olivia's words. She sounded so hopeless, avoiding his gaze now, even though Rafael gently held onto her forearms, trying to get her attention. "Liv... please tell me..."

Her gaze wandered over to the baby buggy; Noah was sleeping peacefully, his light snores keeping the room from being completely silent. Tears were gleaming in her brown eyes, and Rafael could barely breathe from the fear and anticipation.

When she finally started to speak, her voice was quiet, and she still couldn't meet his eyes; she was staring at her hands now, her fingers fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of her blouse.

"I... I am a made man of the Lucarno family, Rafael."

It was as if he'd been pushed into a brick wall head first.

For one moment he was completely unable to comprehend what she'd just said, staring at her with wide eyes.

Then the words started to sink in, hitting him hard with their weight, and he asked himself if it might be possible that he'd misunderstood her, that he hadn't quite caught it the right way...

But then he realised that her words were clear, impossible to interpret in a different way, and he gulped hard, still barely able to believe what she'd just confessed to him.

She'd sworn her loyalty to the Lucarnos in the most binding way the mafia knew, an oath sealed by blood – by murder.

His voice was shaky when he was finally able to string a coherent sentence together again. "So... so the rumours when we were adolescents... they were true?"

He could still remember vividly how his friends had talked about the whispers they'd heard, that the Lucarnos were trying to conceal that they were breaking a tradition by accepting a woman into their ranks. Rafael had never believed those, thinking that it was completely absurd – the families barely ever allowed female associates to work for them.

But now he was hearing it from Olivia herself, and her expression, the tone in her voice and the whole context of the situation left no doubt behind – she was telling the truth.

"Yes. My mother has roots in Sicily and I impressed the men's club so they decided to take me in, secretly, of course," she explained quietly, unable to look him into the eyes, her shoulders slumped. "I had no choice. My mother was drinking, neglecting me, I was starving... I had to do something to keep myself alive. I never wanted to become a criminal, let alone a murderer..."

"You don't have to justify yourself, Liv," he gently interrupted her, taking her hand, and this gesture finally made her look up at him. Her brown eyes were wide in surprise, as if she'd expected him to push her away, telling her to go to hell for lying to him.

"But... what I did... how can you..." She shook her head, tears gleaming in her eyes, and Rafael gulped hard, hating to see her so upset.

"We both had no choice. Do you think it was my dream to become an associate and make my living by committing crimes?"

"But I killed..."

Rafael gently cupped her cheek, looking her into the eyes; their faces were so close that their noses almost touched, and his heart was aching when he saw the teardrops rolling down her cheeks, leaving salty trails. As horrifying the thought of her taking a life was, he did see the circumstances in which it had happened, and he refused to change his opinion about her over that. Their lives had been influenced by persons and events they'd had no power over, they'd been forced to adapt to situations to survive.

"That doesn't change the way I feel for you, Liv. And as strange as it may sound... it led us to this point. If you hadn't decided the way you did, we wouldn't be together today. The same applies to me, do you understand? My father forced me to enter the business, and when he died I realised that I was in too deep," he said, holding eye contact with her, and relief flooded him when her sobs faded. "I love you."

"I love you too," she sniffled quietly, and Rafael pressed a kiss onto her forehead before pulling her into an embrace; he felt the need to hold her as close as possible, to show her that he meant every single word. "I'm sorry, I should have told you..."

"It wouldn't have changed anything about our situation, nor would it have helped to prevent this..."

"But I wasn't honest with you when I should have been," Olivia replied, her arms slung around his torso while she buried her face in his chest, the remaining tears leaving damp spots on his shirt. "You had the right to know the whole truth about me, and about the dangers. But I was scared that you wouldn't want to see me anymore if you knew the whole story."

He couldn't help but smile weakly at that while he ran his fingers through her soft hair soothingly, and ultimately it turned into a chuckle as he said: "I don't think that particular detail made the situation any more dangerous for us than it already was the moment I first tried to flirt with you and you beat me at arm wrestling. And I don't know if you noticed, but I have a thing for bad girls – or rather, this particular one."

It felt good to hear her join him chuckling, and the atmosphere in the room slowly changed to become lighter as some of the tension left. While they were still aware of the seriousness of the situation they wouldn't let it consume them with its fear. Rafael knew that they both were more than aware of all the dangers and the possible outcomes if they weren't cautious with their next steps, but they wouldn't let that destroy everything they'd built up together.

Together they were stronger than the people who wanted to take their happiness from them.

And if not, they would at least go down fighting, hand in hand.

"So... what do we do now?" Olivia asked after a few minutes of silence during which they'd both just listened to the other's heartbeat or breathing, using it to calm themselves down. It would be no use if they both were overwhelmed by panic and couldn't think clearly. Assessing the situation with a cool head would obviously lead to better results, and luckily they both had experience with functioning under high pressure.

Of course, it wouldn't be easy to find a solution, but they combined they had enough determination to move mountains; they'd waited for their happiness far too long to let anyone take it from them now.

"We have to bring Noah to a safe place, that's the most important thing for now." Rafael let his gaze wander over to the baby buggy where Noah was still fast asleep and Olivia nodded, pulling back from his chest to look him into the eyes; he could see his own worry reflected in the brown depths, and he took her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"That would be for the best, I guess. Then we have a little less to worry about."

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to make it less painful to say the words, Rafael pressed his forehead against hers and proposed: "We should send him out of town with my mother until all of this is over."

The tears gleaming in her eyes made his heart heavy with sorrow; she tried to keep her emotions under control, taking deep breaths while holding on tightly to his hand. "Sounds like a good idea."

With a soft touch of his thumb he wiped a tear away as it rolled down her cheek, and only then did they notice how silent it was in the apartment. Normally his mother's place was always filled with noise, as Lucia just couldn't do subtle or quiet, but right now there was not a single sound. He'd thought that she'd gone into the kitchen to give them some space while they talked about everything, and now he realised that there was no quiet music from the radio or a kettle boiling to be heard.

Glancing at Olivia in confusion, he asked: "Where is she?"

OoO

Lucia's determined steps on the cobblestones echoed loudly in the almost dark alley, the sound thrown back and forth between the brick walls. She was staring straight ahead as she walked, a grim expression on her face; had she been walking over a crowded square, she would have parted the crowds with her demeanour.

Thus, it wasn't exactly surprising when the young man who was smoking while sitting on the stairs leading down to a cellar started shaking with fear and respect the moment he spotted her. His eyes were widening as he realised that she was coming towards him, and she could tell that he was briefly considering to run away, so she was giving him a smirk when he made the right decision and stayed.

"Shall I tell your mother that you're smoking, Dominick?" Lucia asked, leaning against the wall next to him, feeling triumphant about all his reactions – even the youngest and newest members of the families knew stories about her and were taught to have respect.

"N-no, Ma'am, please," he stuttered and even in the dim light provided by a distant lantern she could see that he was blushing while throwing his cigarette onto the ground, grinding it with the sole of his shoe quickly. Lucia gave him a penetrative look, and Carisi hurried to pull the pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his coat, handing them to her submissively, together with a tiny box of matches.

"Good boy." She patted his shoulder and pulled a cigarette from the pack, lighting it while holding it between her red lips. "Smoking is no good for you, darling. Very bad for your health. You want to have tiny Carisis one day, no?"

"Yes, I do..."

"Then I better not see you with one of those again," Lucia said while taking a deep puff, blowing the blue-ish smoke out into the cool night air. "Not good for your hombría, at all."

"I... I understand... what... what can I do for you, Mrs Barba?"

Lucia smiled and took another puff, looking at Carisi and relishing in his eagerness to do anything to please her so she wouldn't tell Mamma Carisi that her son was smoking. "I like you, Dominick. You're asking the right questions, and you know when to talk and when to listen."

Pausing for a moment, she nodded in content when he remained silent and then she decided to be completely open about her reasons for tracking him down – not that it was hard to find him. Habituality kills, she always said.

"I know you come around a lot, and that you hear quite a few stories about what's going on in the city."

Carisi nodded curtly, causing Lucia's smile to widen. "Fine. Now, who ratted my son and Olivia Benson out to the Lucarnos? Don't worry, nobody is going to hear that I got the information from you, boy."

He hesitated for a long moment, wincing when her smile turned into a dangerous glare for a second. "I... I'm not sure if it's true, I don't want to give you false information... okay, okay, okay, I'll tell you... people say it was her mother!"

"What?" Lucia exclaimed, louder and more shrieking than intended, dropping her cigarette when she clapped her hand over her mouth; Carisi almost jumped, whether out of shock about her or out of fright that someone had heard her and would come for them, she didn't know.

"Ssssshhhh!"

"Excuse me, darling. I was just so shocked... are you sure?"

Taking a deep breath, he looked a bit apologetic when he nodded. "I heard it from several people. They said she went to her cousin and screamed about her daughter's bastard baby. So they apparently followed Olivia and then found out that she is with your son."

She gulped hard, barely able to keep the various emotions that were rising inside of her at bay. Shock, sorrow and concern were swirling around, feeling heavy in her stomach, but anger was the most prominent emotion in this moment; Lucia could barely believe that a mother was capable of betraying her daughter, her own flesh and blood, like this...

But then she'd witnessed her husband treat Rafael in horrible ways.

So she had to acknowledge that it was obviously more than possible that fatherly and motherly love both didn't seem to come easy – or at all – to some people.

"I'm sorry," she heard Carisi say quietly, sounding almost as sad as she felt inside her heart, and Lucia reached out to squeeze his forearm gently while clearing her throat.

"It's okay, darling. Thank you for your assistance."

She was just moving to stand up when the young man held her back, gulping before admitting: "I have another rumour you might be interested in, since it also concerns your son, Mrs Barba. Something about... planned _actions_."

Staring down the dark alley, she contemplated if she really wanted to go down that path, but then she decided that she did.

She had to.

Because she couldn't let Olivia or Rafael do it, Noah needed them and they needed each other, more than they needed her.

A mother's love, she thought, and turned her head to look at Carisi with a determined expression, a fire starting to burn inside of her. "Tell me."

"They say the bosses of the Lucarnos and Coppolas are going to be meeting at midnight, to discuss what they're going to do with them."

OoO

Olivia and Rafael had tried to not let their angst overwhelm them, but in the end they had to give in; Lucia's disappearance worried them a lot. It may just have been another factor added to their troubles, but it was an important one – without Lucia, they couldn't send Noah out of town.

She was the only person they trusted, and when they realised that she was indeed gone and hadn't left a note behind for them, something inside both of them had snapped.

And while they still had a little bit of hope inside of them, the world looked a little bit darker to them.

"Where do you think she went?" Olivia asked quietly, her gaze focused on Noah's face – he looked so peaceful in his sleep, and she was glad that he was too young to know anything about the things that were currently going on all around him.

After half an hour of waiting for Lucia in the living room, hoping that she had only needed some fresh air or went somewhere to get materials to treat Rafael's cuts and bruises, they'd gone into Rafael's old room with Noah. Its walls had once been covered with countless posters of the New York Yankees and Rafael's own drawings, but some time after Rafael had moved out Lucia had renovated the room and turned it into a cosy guest room. The queen sized bed offered enough space for the three of them, and so Olivia and Rafael had settled down on it, Noah between them.

"I don't know," Rafael whispered back, his voice heavy. "She goes where she wants and she does what she wants. Impossible to predict what she's up to, even for me."

They were quiet for a long moment, listening to Noah's even breaths, then they looked each other into the eyes, their fingers lacing together. In front of each other they could admit that both of them were feeling anxious, and they didn't even need words to know that they were having the same thoughts.

Lucia was supposed to leave New York with Noah as soon as possible, with the last train that night or the first the next morning, they didn't care – all they could think about was getting their precious little boy into safety. And no matter when Lucia would come back, these were their last hours with Noah. Opposite feelings were raging inside of them, as they wanted Noah somewhere safe, but letting him go felt like an impossible thing to do. He'd been abandoned once, would he feel like he was being abandoned again should they not be able to bring him home?

But no matter how horrible the thought about sending the baby boy they'd fallen in love with felt, it had to be done.

If only Lucia would come back soon...

"I just hope she isn't doing anything reckless," Rafael murmured, more to himself than to Olivia, and pecked a kiss onto Noah's temple.

OoO

It didn't happen often that members of rivaling families met each other in a situation that wasn't hostile, and the two bosses willingly agreeing to a meeting to discuss business was a very unexpected and highly novel event. They were enemies and weren't so foolish to trust each other, even when they were most likely pursuing the same goals for once, and so the atmosphere was quite charged when the two elderly men entered the bar they'd chosen as their meeting point. The etablissement was located right at the border between the territories controlled by the Lucarnos and Coppolas respectively, allowing the men to meet on relatively neutral ground where neither of them had greater control than the other.

Both parties had agreed that they wouldn't carry any weapons throughout the meeting, which only the two bosses and five close advisors of each could attend; of course this didn't keep them from having armed men positioned outside. Sitting in their cars on opposite sides of the building, the men had a close eye on every single movement in the vicinity, ready to spring into action should anything go wrong.

Everyone was moving cautiously as the two delegations entered the bar, the bosses shielded by their men as they came through the front and back doors. Only after almost a minute of exchanging scrutinising glances did the two men step in front of their advisors, striding towards the table that was standing in the middle of the room.

"Buonasera, Lucarno."

"Buonasera, Coppola."

They both sounded very reserved in their greetings, eyeing each other, and silence fell over the gathering again, only broken by the scraping of the chairs against the wooden floor when the two mafia bosses seated themselves. Some witnesses shifted uncomfortably, as if they expected an attack any minute; others were looking calm, obviously positive that the two rivals would find a way to talk about their mutual problem peacefully.

A bottle of red wine and two glasses were standing on the table, but neither of the men showed any intention to open it; despite the red wax seal being untouched, they both seemed to fear someone had poisoned it.

"Now, shall we begin?" the old Lucarno suggested calmly, resting his elbows on the polished wood of the table while leaning forwards, his fingertips touching.

"That's my prompt."

All heads turned in surprise, hands were flying down to belts out of reflexes only to grasp air, the absence of weapons highly unsettling the men. Lucia Barba smirked as she pranced into the room, holding up a gun. "I hope I'm not too late and have met your dress code, signore."

She knew that none of the present men cared about the perfectly tailored black pinstripe suit she was wearing – a shame, in her opinion, because she thought that she hadn't looked so on point in years – but she still liked the cocky sound of her words. Her sudden appearance and the gun had a lot more effect on the men, but a lady could dream, couldn't she?

Lucia couldn't deny that she loved the fact that she had the attention of the whole room, and she knew that she shouldn't enjoy this situation too much – it was a serious matter at hand, but she just couldn't help it.

"Who are you and how did you get past my men?" Coppola growled darkly, glaring at her, and Lucia rose an eyebrow at him.

"I shouldn't be surprised that you have no idea who's working for you, hombre, but I do still feel hurt," she replied disapprovingly while casually leaning against the bar, standing right between the two parties, her gun lazily aimed at the two bosses. "I'm Lucia Barba. You're here to discuss killing my son Rafael for wanting to be with the woman he loves. He happens to be working for you. Does that ring any bells?"

From the corner of her eye she saw that one of Lucarno's men was slowly moving towards the exit, and she shot him a warning glance. "I wouldn't do that, sweetheart. Yes, that's a good boy, come back here."

An almost terrified expression crossed over the man's face as he moved back to his group, literally hiding behind his comrades to get away from Lucia's penetrative glance and the direct field of fire of her gun.

"What do you want?" Lucarno sounded surprisingly calm and unimpressed – a circumstance Lucia was planning on changing very soon.

"Well, first of all I would like a strong drink, but I guess none of you would be gentleman enough to pour me one right now."

Lucia paused briefly to let her gaze wander around the room, but of course nobody moved, so she continued: "I'm here to ask you to leave Olivia, Rafael and Noah alone. Let them live their life the way they want, as a happy family, away from crime and danger."

Her voice was slightly emotional and yet firm while she spoke and everyone was listening; once she was done, it was completely silent for a moment, some of the men looking stunned about her blunt words.

Then Coppola suddenly started laughing, starting with a chuckle before getting louder and louder; Lucarno joined him as well, and soon the whole group of men was laughing at Lucia and her reasons for interrupting their meeting. However, even though she frowned for a second, Lucia held her head high proudly, quietly accepting the mockery as she hadn't expected anything else.

"This is ridiculous. Olivia swore an oath to the Lucarno family, she is bound to us," Lucarno said sharply, a predatory grin on his face. "At least her mother knows what loyalty is."

"That's another point I'd like to address. Keep that... that woman away from them." Lucia had trouble keeping her calm at the mention of Serena Benson, still barely able to believe what she'd done to her precious little family.

"No worries, she has expressed that she doesn't want to see her daughter anymore."

Coppola was fiddling with his empty wine glass, fingers curling around the stem. "Barba is bringing us good money. And you haven't presented us a good and convincing reason why we should consider your demands seriously. That gun won't do, sweetheart."

To their utter surprise, their jeers didn't beat Lucia down as expected – on the contrary, she did start smiling, almost softly, and she lay the gun down on the bar, pulling an old-fashioned pocket watch from the inside of her suit jacket. "Oh, don't you worry, _sweetheart_ , I do have some good arguments at hand, actually. Several, and I think you might find them very convincing once you've let me explain."

Her gaze wandered around, focussing on every man, and pleased by the tense silence she was met with, she decided to make her big revelation. "I placed bombs in the cellar of this building while your men were too busy with their cockfights to notice anything. If you don't agree to every single one of my requirements I won't go downstairs to stop the timer. This whole building will blow up and everyone in this room will die."

Lucia thoroughly enjoyed seeing their shocked faces and how the men exchanged quick glances, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth.

"You're bluffing," Coppola ultimately said, a little bit of panic swinging in his tone that he was desperately trying to conceal from his followers.

Some of the men appeared to be horrified, others were exchanging helpless glances when Lucia's smile slowly morphed into a wicked grin.

Her casual voice didn't match her expression at all when she continued to speak, inspecting her flawlessly manicured nails. "Why don't you try me, play this game? But I warn you, I win either way. You have three minutes left to make your decision."

OoO

Olivia and Rafael had been forced to surrender to sleep at some point during the long wait, exhausted from the events of the day; they were lying together as close as possible while giving Noah enough space, and their fingers were still intertwined, holding on to each other even now. Only Noah was awake, happily clutching his stuffed bear and drooling over it as he chewed on the bear's arm.

That was the picture Lucia came home to in the middle of the night, and a soft smile played around the corners of her lips as she stood in the doorway of the guest room. Noah smiled and waved his little hands at her when he spotted her, and Lucia tip-toed into the room without hesitation, carefully lifting the baby off the bed.

"Hola pequeñajo, did you have too many naps today? Are you watching Mamí and Papí sleep?" she whispered, bouncing the boy gently in her arms a few times before pecking a kiss on his forehead, eliciting soft chuckles from him. His joyfulness made her heart sing, and it showed her that everything had been worth the effort. "You're going to have a great life, my sweet. You're safe now, abuela took care of that."

Suddenly Rafael stirred, maybe sensing Noah's absence or he'd heard her voice, and he blinked sleepily as he turned his head. "Mamí? Where were you?"

"Taking care of things, mijo. Don't worry." She smiled fondly at her son, who looked completely confused.

"You have to get Noah out of town while we try to figure out wha..."

"I settled everything," Lucia interrupted him calmly while Noah's fingers played with her necklace, pulling gently on the chain. "You're safe. All of you."

Rafael sat up abruptly, then remembered that Liv was lying next to him, throwing her a worried glance, but she only grumbled something in her sleep and turned around, not disturbed by the movement that went through the mattress. "What? How?"

"Don't ask, mijo. The only thing you need to know is that you three can live the life you want from now on. Nobody is going to bother you." She gently placed Noah in Rafael's lap and gave her son a kiss on the cheek. "Now cuddle with your boy, mijo. And sleep well."

Before Rafael could ask any more questions – and she knew that he must have dozens of them swirling around in his curious mind right now – she quietly left the room and closed the door behind herself before going into her own bedroom. A wonderful feeling of contentment was warming her insides as she got into bed, knowing that she'd just kept her family safe from a catastrophe.

Nobody would have the courage to mess with her.

All was well.

OoO

Neither Olivia nor Rafael could remember a time they'd loved winter so much like they did now. Even though it was cold and often stormy, with snow covering the city with a very thick blanket of snow, they went for a walk in the park almost every day. Wearing their thickest winter coats and wrapping Noah in loads of winter clothes and blankets to protect him from the cold, they pushed the boy's baby buggy through the deserted park. It was such a normal thing to do for most families, but to them it still felt special and they couldn't get enough of this newly found freedom; sometimes, the fear of getting into trouble became prominent again, but it vanished as fast as it had come.

Rafael wrapped his arm around Olivia's waist, snowflakes whirling around them, and pulled her closer against his body while he told her how the application interview for law school had went this morning.

They didn't know how she'd managed it, but Lucia had gotten them quite a large amount of money, enough to live comfortably for a long time while paying for education and save some for Noah. Olivia had tried several times to get Lucia to talk about where the money was from, and how she'd swayed two mafia bosses – in vain. Lucia smiled and stayed silent every time, chuckling while Olivia presented her theories, and if she happened to answer it was in very whimsical and confusing ways.

Though, in the end they probably didn't want to know.

Also, the money did indeed come in quite handy and gave them amazing opportunities; they were still young and Lucia helped them with Noah so they could both look into higher education. After some encouragement and gentle persuasion from Olivia and Lucia, Rafael had decided to become a lawyer while Olivia thought about taking a big leap by entering the field of psychology – not that she was afraid of entering a field dominated by males.

And Noah was flourishing – though Rafael tended to say that he was 'growing like weed' – being a happy little boy that never failed to bring a smile to the faces of the people surrounding him. Olivia and Rafael could barely let him out of sight, as he would crawl away, exploring their flat with an amount of curiosity Lucia claimed he had from his father.

Every single day showed them that it had been worth it to stand strong together, even though the whole world seemed to have been against them.

All the happy little moments spent together were their reward.

THE END

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A/N: My writing music once again was Romeo & Juliet and the W.E. Soundtrack by the amazing Abel Korzeniowski. Still amazingly beautiful.


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